The Final Countdown. The Art Of The TV Review.

Its November 1st and today marks a major milestone for us. It's the first day of our last working month and the clock is now well and truly ticking down towards our retirement. I'm going to devote the blog for the final month (or at least some of it) to the things closest to our hearts as well as to people and businesses that have meant a lot to us over the last twenty years. I'll probably be including some of my all time favourite YouTube videos too.

Regular blog readers (and yes there are some - hello Mum), will know that Marion and I are big fans of the arts.You might think us a bit lowbrow as we love X Factor just as much as we love Puccini or Piero Della Francesca but we're comfortable with that, unlike those who wouldn't dream of confessing to enjoying the weekly Cowell glitterfest or the daftness of Harry Hill.Our son Paul is often amazed when people he meets in the industry who make shows for the masses proclaim without a trace of embarrassment that they don't watch that sort of TV.

Anyway, to get to the point, if you love entertainment and the arts, you love reading about them and the first page that I turn to every morning after checking on the soap opera that is my football team is the TV review. I've been lucky over the years as The Guardian has employed some of the finest TV reviewers and previewers including the inimitable Nancy Banks Smith , Charlie Brooker, Grace Dent and now Sam Wollaston. Unlike reviews of theatre productions, new albums, concerts, books, films or exhibitions which people tend to read to form a decision on whether to see or buy the product a good TV review is in itself a form of entertainment and I am happy to read about something that was on the box last night irrespective of whether or not I saw it.

A good TV critic will always sell papers. Jim Shelley at The Mirror, AA Gill and now Caitlin Moran of The Times are all talents who must be treasured by their proprietors and kept at all costs - as was the legendary Clive James whose ten years as The Observer's critic resulted in no less than four books of published reviews. In today's Guardian, Sam Wollaston writes a fabulous piece on Return Of The Rhino: A Last Chance To See Special (BBC2). It's not a programme that I would watch but I am always happy to read a good review and speaking of how the white male rhino is taken back to Africa after thirty odd years in a zoo in the Czech Republic Sam writes "He sniffs the warm ground, stirring distant memories maybe, then takes a mouthful of long fresh African grass. Mmm... after 35 years of dumplings and pilsner." Perfect.

Which takes me back yet again to the absence of a good critic in our regular Sunday paper. When Kathryn Flett left the Observer I blogged on here "Heartbroken On Valentine's day" as one of life's pleasures departed. Her TV reviews were full of humour and clever observation and her magazine pieces on life in her home town of "Random On Sea" were a joy and guaranteed that both Marion and I could grab different sections of the paper without arguing who was going to read her contributions first. Since she left in February I have been patiently reading all of her replacements. All are good writers but none has mastered the rare art of the TV review (and it is an art) and this week I couldn't even be bothered to read to the end and that's a first. If the Observer doesn't find a decent replacement soon I'm going to have to break a lifetime's habit and drop the paper. And just to show what a difference a writer makes, I even read and enjoyed the car review in the Guardian recently when Sam Wollaston wrote it and if you know that I drive a Prius you'll appreciate the level of my interest in cars.



I see that a lot of genuine TV reviewers are active on Twitter while the big shows like X Factor and Downton are on so they are genuinely interested and not just reviewing from DVDs. With X Factor I put my money where my mouth was and, having suggested that Cher Lloyd seemed to be a good value bet at 14:1 last week, I was amazed to see her odds on Betfair rise to 15:1 on Saturday before the show started. Backing her at those odds I could now guarantee a profit as they have tumbled to around 7:1 now but I think that she's got a lot further to go and I am not hedging my bets just yet. Remember we both tipped Joe at the audition stage last year although Marion's got a few favourites this time.


Oh well, twenty nine days to go now. That's TV reviewers off my chest, what beckons tomorrow? With the news of Cherie's dabblings recently, eBay might be topical.