The Home Straight Is In Sight

Our time at Instanta is rapidly drawing to a close and the finishing line is almost in view as today marks the last day of our penultimate month of work. With just over four weeks to go this will possibly be my last conventional blog as I intend to devote the next few weeks to those people and businesses that have meant so much to us in our twenty odd years in this industry and some of the good, the bad and the ugly happenings during that time. In the meantime we'll stick with the usual mix of trivia and Instanta news that has been the hallmark of this blog for the last couple of years.

Tomorrow Marion and I are off down to the NEC for the Antiques For Everyone fair. I've mentioned it before but it really is a super fair and the only one that we go out of our way to visit. It does exactly what it says on the label and you can go and buy something for £1 or something for £100,000 and I love it for that. I also love the comfortable layout of wide aisles and the bright stands and the huge variety of things on display ranging from postcards and ephemera to grand paintings and sculptures. The fair is vetted by a committee so you won't find a hidden treasure but you also won't buy a fake. On Sunday I'll be popping out to a new antiques fair at Scarisbrick Village Hall where there will probably be a dozen dealers and maybe only half a dozen genuine antiques between them but the chance of finding a hidden gem will strangely be much higher. I hope that when we retire we'll get more chances to go antique hunting.

Craig is busily working on the figures for the end of October and I am pleased to say that we are, once again, up on the same month last year and there is no sign of a double dip recession here at the moment. I won't say on here who is top of the sales league but it has been a tight run race and we might have a photo finish.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the office we've got some new screens on trial. These are designed to keep noise down and allow people to concentrate on their work without too many distractions but I could see them coming into use for some new office games. We could have an Instanta ping pong tournament for example. Any other suggestions on a postcard please.

Jimmy Carr was extremely funny at Southport Theatre last night. The politically correct side of me says that I shouldn't be laughing at some of his material which could be described as misogynist but the women in the audience appeared to be genuinely amused and Marion was laughing along heartily so I suppose that's the crux of the matter. If we can accept that jokes about violence or being abusive to women are simply that - jokes, then it is funny but if we feel that the comedian is in any way condoning the actions that he ridicules then he may be overstepping the mark. Not a show for the faint hearted and I couldn't repeat any of Jimmy's jokes. Oh yes there was one. What have Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh got in common? - same middle name.

 

Now that Marion and I have a lot of free time on our hands perhaps we could go and renew our marriage vows in some exotic location. Or maybe not after watching this. I have put the expurgated version on here but if you search YouTube for Maldives Wedding you will find the full uncensored (and much worse) 14 minute version.

It's Good To Be Trusted

It was a tale of two antique dealers on Saturday at the NEC's Antiques for Everyone. It's a wonderful fair and it live up to its name with antiques on display ranging from a couple of pounds to hundreds of thousands. Marion and I were not planning on buying anything and were just wanting to browse. We didn't take a cheque book with us. Everyone accepts cards now don't they? Well the answer to that question is 'no' when it comes to the antiques trade. So when we spotted this very nice little Liberty pewter carriage clock that would look good in our newly decorated lounge (we needed a clock as we bought a similar new one from John Lewis but sent it back because it was really shoddy)and went on to ask about payment methods it was "cash or cheque". As we had no cheques and insufficient cash I had to hobble across to the other side of the NEC to find a cash machine (which charged £1.99 for the privilege of giving me some of my own money). I'm not complaining. I couldn't expect a dealer to give a complete stranger credit at a huge and busy fair.



Or could I? Later in the day we found this lovely Venetian Murano glass bowl that was just the right colour for said lounge colour scheme. I raised the question."Do you accept cards?" The answer?"No." I resigned myself to another trek to the ATM but the dealer said that it was OK if I had no money. I could take the bowl home and send him a cheque next week. Now that is extremely impressive and trusting. OK it's not priceless but it is a nice bowl and I couldn't see John Lewis or M&S adopting the same policy. So hat's off to Barclay Antiques of Edinburgh. And yes, the cheque is in the post.



Although, when you think about it, Barclay Antiques' policy is not that different to ours at Instanta. Here we send out boilers all over the country and tell the customers to send us the money. And no, the cheque is very rarely in the post the following day.


I enjoyed Magic Numbers on Saturday night. The show included a segment where Alistair McGowan did nine impressions for a studio contestant and she had to say who they were in order to win a prize. I thought his mimicry was quite brilliant and even if the lady answering didn't know the voices there were plenty of clues in the content. She guessed a grand total of three correctly and ended up with poor Alistair visibly deflated. Don't worry Mr McGowan, me and Marion managed eight each. It was a pity that the winner of the phone in competition once again managed to go home (or stay home) empty handed. Mind you,now that TV shows are all squeaky clean and winners are chosen at random so there is no chance of contestants being weeded out for lack of personality, never could a contestant be more deserving of going unrewarded. "So what will you do with the money if you win?" asked Stephen Mulhern."Don't know", the flat response. "Is there nothing that you would like?" the host continued, oblivious to the fact that he was flogging a dead horse,"Not really". The woman was two minutes away from the chance of winning £300k but sounded as if she was on her way to a funeral and ITV's phone call was an inconvenient interruption. Watch next week. It's a very colourful, light and feel good show.

I'll leave you with a warning on The Homosexual Menace. Take care.