3D Or Not 3D? That Is The Question.

It's Wednesday which, as usual, can only mean one thing - a trip to the cinema using the fabulous Orange Wednesday promotion. We have to get our own phones in a couple of weeks and we went on the Internet to check out our options on one of those comparison sites. We could be tempted to move away from Orange on looking at the figures but they don't mention the Orange Wednesday benefit which is worth a few hundred pounds a year to us and will reduce the real cost of the phones considerably.Anyway,after "Another Year" on Saturday left us feeling a little melancholy and "Let Me In" on Monday was also a bit sad, we're off to see "Jackass 3D" tonight. That should blow away the cobwebs and liven us up a little. I know you're probably thinking what on earth a near pension age couple are doing going to watch what is (according to NME) stupid and puerile but I'm very keen to see the application of 3D to firing of dildos and excrement out of the screen as that must surely be a cinematic first and we've always been what is known as "early adopters".

As "early adopters", we've been having a look at both the iPad and 3D TV lately. I know we've probably missed the boat on the iPad and we would no longer be early adopters if we bought one now but to be honest, whilst it looks great, do we really have any use for one(unlike the fabulous Apple TV which is a fantastic piece of equipment that we've had for years and for which we could still be seen as early adopters as I don't think Apple have sold many)? But with 3D TV we have to ask ourselves do we watch a lot of TV? Yes. Is the 3D quality good? Yes it's very good. Do we need a new telly? Er, not really. Is there much being broadcast in 3D? Er, not really. Was there much HD being broadcast when we got HD? Er virtually none but we still enjoyed it when there was something. The jury is still out on this one. I'm very keen to try it but I know that the prices may soon come down but there again you only live once and might as well enjoy what little there is available now in the knowledge that, like HD, there will soon be more. We'll decide after we've left Instanta.

With just over two weeks left here, our new computer operating system arrived yesterday. I had promised that I would oversee it's installation and get it up and running before I left but that was when I thought I would have four months and not twelve working days. I have launched into it enthusiastically but have been hampered by my right hand getting cold. I don't know what is causing this - perhaps it's coming out in sympathy with my right hip but since I lost almost three stone I've felt the cold much more and have gone from the one who sat sweating pleading with Marion to turn the heating down to the one who does the pleading to turn it up. I'm sitting here in a centrally heated office with an electric heater alongside me and I've GOOGLED cold right hand and found that some associate it with using a computer. Oh dear, maybe I won't be able to input all that data.

Maybe I should throw a sickie. But that would not be in my nature. As I face retirement I've been thinking about my career record. I've been working since I was 18 so that's almost forty years. I think, and I don't want to exaggerate, that I have had at most five sick days in that time that's less than one hour per working year. And it's not simply because I have been self employed as I worked almost twenty years in a bank. Is it that I am extremely healthy and lucky? Maybe. Or maybe it's just that when we grew up it was just the done thing to go to work or school and muddle through. Anyway I know that one or two here at Instanta, including Marion, Martin and Tony have similar records so I'm not in any way unique.




I'll finish today with a video for our son Paul who spends a lot of time thinking of ideas for game shows for TV. I imagine that when the researchers on Wheel Of Fortune set this puzzle they didn't quite expect it to be solved this quickly.

It's Starting To Sink In

We had a big meeting here at Instanta yesterday and one of the items on the agenda was our giving notice of our resignation from the Instanta board. Even though we have known about our retirement for over ten months now it still felt quite strange reading out a letter of resignation to the company that has been part of our lives for so long. But it's all done and dusted now and the letter is on file and we will officially have nothing to do with the company with effect from 30th November.

I only had time to briefly mention our office cleaner Dave Boutle's birthday yesterday. I wished him a happy birthday and he told me today that he had a pleasant night out at a Formby restaurant although he felt that their prawns defied the Trade Descriptions act being smaller than shrimps. I will miss Dave when we leave as he always has a good tale to tell. He is interested in antiques and, like me, he is a bit of an eBay fan. He trades under the name Lydiate_Boutie and is widely regarded as a world expert in hostess trolleys which are far more saleable than you might think. He also has a specialist interest in fenders and has sold some fine examples.He is fiercely proud of his 100% feedback record and goes out of his way to maintain it even if it means taking a loss.I'm sure that our paths will cross again at various auctions and antiques fairs.

One thing that struck me at yesterday's meeting was how well the sous vide machines are doing. They are really outside our core business as we are well known for water boilers but the lateral thinking behind the range is that water boilers = catering equipment creating hot water = sous vide. Simple really. So in future think Instanta = Catering Equipment and see what we think of next. As a very large proportion of our customers are catering equipment dealers it's all pretty logical.

Being in the office all day I haven't had much time to read about George Osborne's cuts but my son Paul, who is a fierce Labour supporter, asked me at lunchtime what was wrong with running a deficit. It's a bit like when I was a bank manager really. There was nothing wrong with customers running an overdraft as long as it was within their means and it's something that Instanta has had no problems in using over the past fifteen years. The problem comes when there is an overdraft,no profit and no prospect of paying the overdraft back.That's when the business has to take real steps to economise even if it means painful redundancies. The alternative is to face up to defaulting. As a dyed in the wool Guardian reader I am a bit out of sync with most of my fellow readers and indeed virtually everyone I follow on Twitter who are all dead against the Tory cuts. But let's face reality. If Instanta had spent more than its income year after year after year I would not be leaving to a hopefully comfortable retirement and our staff would not be facing the secure future that they do now. So I do think that it is essential to reduce the deficit and I can't really think of a more sociable alternative much as I would like to do so. And as for the French? Striking over a proposed retirement age of 62 ils vivent dans la terre de coucou de nuage.

Orange Wednesday today. Not a massive choice tonight so we've opted for Wall St Money Never Sleeps which has the most convenient showing time. Reviews are poor so we don't have great expectations but with the Orange two for one offer it's a cheap night out. I just hope that Orange will come up with a new ad soon. I'm really sick of seeing Jack Black doing his Gulliver Travels puppet joke. Bring back the old pitch ads. I could watch them time and again.

All Systems Go As Financial Year Ends On A High

In order to fall in line with our new parent company we are moving our year end to 30th June and we are aiming to impress the new owners with an excellent ten months' results. So we are pulling out all the stops and hoping to get a near record number of boilers out of the doors today leaving us with our best ever June sales. Our sales are as buoyant now as at any time before the recession set in and,if Instanta is reflecting the industry as a whole, it would appear that the doom mongers are wrong and we are back into a period of growth.



I have just posted an offer letter to our preferred candidate for the new Southern Area Sales Manager position. Trying to find the right man or woman for the job was a gruelling process but at least one person should have a pleasant surprise when they open the post tomorrow. Which will give Nick a busy time as he needs to train the successful applicant before he goes on his summer holidays in late July.



We are beginning to think that we'll never get back to our regular weekly cinema visits. Every Wednesday we eagerly scan the listings at the local Vue (where we have gift vouchers that will cover every week until well into 2011)and for the last five or six weeks we have drawn a complete blank. The half dozen films showing tonight have mustered less than seven stars in the reviews between them and that means that some real stinkers are on offer. The cinemas will blame it on the World Cup and there are reports that cinema attendances are down 22% on this time last year but if they want people to go to the movies instead of watching footie there has to be something better on offer. When "Get Me To The Greek" is the film with the highest ratings it's time to take up another Wednesday night pastime. Is there a Quiz on anywhere?


We are starting to see the benefit of Sarah's gift of a patio vegetable garden. As we are on a stringent diet at the moment, a gift of a huge variety and number of salad leaves has come in very handy as you can see. This was yesterday's lunch - a fruity salmon salad.

No football tonight but, in case you missed it, here is England's World Cup highlight. Apologies for the bad language. If you are easily offended, don't read the subtitles.

Gratulacje i wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin Rafa

Last year I offered birthday congratulations to assembly worker Rafa Kolasinksi a day early so this year I am sending him all our best wishes a day late to even things out and not at all because Craig forgot to note Raf's birthday in the diary. In his eighteen months at Instanta, Rafa, who originates from Kielce in Poland, has impressed me with both his perfect English and his calm and easy going nature.It has been a big year for him with the birth of his first son Filip and he and his wife Betty are heading back to Poland for a traditional Polish Christmas christening (don't forget the photos Rafa). I hope that he had a great day.



And speaking of Rafas, here's our very own Rafa Benitez doing his impression of us Liverpool fans. I still have two season tickets on the kop. Match days used to be a pleasurable experience but, since my bad hip developed, the trudge up the hill to the ground and the hundreds of steps to the seat have started to become an ordeal. Coupled with the constant standing up and sitting down and the dire performances on the pitch I'm starting to wonder why I bother and spend most of the games in the pose above. Tonight it's Wigan, it's pouring with rain. Oh frabjous day. I'll have to start supporting Aston Villa. I just put £10 on them to win the Premiership at 100-1. Now, looking at their recent form, I think that's not a bad punt to take.



We've just had a visit from Andrew and Jen from the wonderful Workhouse Marketing of Ribchester. Photographer Andrew had the challenging task of taking a photo of the Instanta staff for our new brochure that is being designed by Jen. I'm sure that we'll be happy with the results. It's just a pity that it teemed with rain and we were unable to get a shot of the outside of the factory.



I'm starting to wonder if the 1500lcd boilers are jet propelled. They are flying out of the factory as fast as we can make them. Have we got the prices wrong? Well, if you compare them with anything on the market with a similar price we are certainly under priced. Maybe we'll have to put them up. Watch this space.Blimey, just had to duck as another one went over.

Someone sent me a link to this video. As I'm no longer a Mercedes driver I can laugh now.

The Times They Are A Changin'

I said on here the other day that we were treading water a little but things have moved on since then. Firstly we've got the most important job done and we have booked a party night at the Floral Hall on the promenade. We've got in for Friday 11 December and by all accounts it should be a good night with an Abba tribute band, a disco and entertainment from 8pm until 1am.There's a three course Christmas dinner thrown in as well.



Then there's the problem of the empty office. It started to feel like the Marie Celeste in here a few times lately while we were waiting for Craig to decide on his future on the road as a salesman. He's made his decision and on Monday he will be back here with us on his sales desk duties. We'll all be pleased to welcome him back. Not everyone loves being out selling but at least Craig has had the chance to give it a try. It's not all been bad for him.There have been some good times too.Now we've got to decide what to do with the sales team.



The Instanta Pool Tournament is progressing well. I just watched the match between Northern Sales Manager Peter Brindle (taking shot above) and store man Phil Joce. It was level pegging until I turned up and put Peter off by taking this photo. After that Phil potted every ball and is through to the semi final. (Sorry Pete).



On the business side the 1500lcd is selling like hot cakes and we are struggling to keep up with demand. I know that they are great but why not be green and think about the CT2000 with the ECO mode that allows you to set the water level lower during quiet periods? Just a thought.



I just took delivery of a lawn aerator and scarifier and will be having a go at using it this weekend. For the last few years we've used Green Thumb to come and do this for us but they hiked the price up this year by so much that it made more sense to buy our own machine. A classic case of price sensitivity in market economics.If they had held last year's prices they would still have the business.

We're playing Manchester united on Sunday. I somehow don't think it will be as easy as this game. The Brazilian side Viana needed to score nine goals in the last nine minutes in order to gain promotion on goal difference. Impossible.....of course!

Brrrrrrrrrrr

Don't know about you but me and Marion are sitting here shivering today. We haven't got the heating on at Instanta yet (you know we are very green)but it just seems so chilly. Maybe we'll have to get it switched on soon. In the meantime we've got our coats on and I keep looking at the photo at the top of the blog and wishing we were back in Italy.



Bad news on the shop floor as our super Finn Power green punch press (yes I know it's blue but it's also very green) is on the blink. It's only five years old (which is young for a machine like this) but it seems that the on board computer keeps throwing a wobbler. As with all intermittent faults it's proving very difficult for engineers to spot the cause but they're coming next week and will see if they can solve the mystery. In the meantime we are getting as much as possible made on it while it is still up and running.



Sales are running well at the moment with the 1500LCDs going out of the door as soon as they are built. Have a think about trying the CT2000. It has a two year guarantee, full service diagnostics and an energy saving eco mode (which is going to be so important in years to come).



As you can see, there's been no expense spared with our stand for The Restaurant Show at Earls' Court in London next week when Nick and Craig (above) are going to be showing our superb sous vide equipment on the CEDA stand. We've got a square metre of space so as long as Craig and Nick squeeze close together they should be OK.They're sharing a bedroom too. Cheapskates us? There's a recession on.

I'll finish to day with a fun viral. OK it's a deliberate plug for Volkswagen but it's an interesting take on how to encourage people to take more exercise by using the stairs instead of the escalator.

The Accountants Are Coming

I just had a phone call from our auditor Alan Finch of Moore Stephens letting me know that his arrival for the annual audit is imminent.We always enjoy Alan's visits.He is such a warm and friendly personality and could not be more removed from the stuffy image that accountants are sometimes given.Yes he's a great guy (apart from supporting Everton that is).



Natalie Drummond paid us another visit the other day and brought Olivia in. It's hard to believe that one of the Instanta babies is an Instanta toddler already but, as you can see, she is. And doesn't she look like her mum?

We had a phone call this morning from a customer who said that their boiler was not hot enough and that it had to deliver water at 100 degrees to satisfy health and safety requirements.(Health and safety requirements that we've never heard of). I can understand the confusion as the word "boiler" obviously implies "boiling" but there are no atmospheric boilers on the market that deliver boiling water. If they did, every canteen, kitchen or office using one would be full of steam.We'd like to label our units as "water heaters" but for the last thirty years (at least)all products like this have been called boilers and we don't want to make the move unilaterally.If you want boiling water you need to buy a pressure boiler.



Anybody out there know of any properties available to let in E London? One of my family is having a hell of a job trying to find somewhere suitable. They spend hours on the Internet making a list of suitable properties and then phone to arrange viewings and what's the answer? "Oh that one's already let". They make appointments to view and does the agent turn up? No. It's a minefield but decent two bed flat or house (preferably not modern)totally reliable tenants, E1 E2 E3 E14 anyone?



It seems that all the lads here at Instanta are keen on using the Internet but, unlike the office workers who can use it at their desks during breaks and lunchtimes, they can't get online in the factory. So we're looking into getting a wireless set up in the canteen so that they can use it during lunch when someone else is hogging the dart board or the pool table.

Today's the day that we decide on our Orange Wednesday film for this week. Not a big choice this time but I am looking forward to when this one comes out.

Some Photos For The Kids

There you are Sarah.I always do as I'm told. X





And Paul. It's really good isn't it now that I've downloaded the software from the website?



Back at Instanta another month begins and I've just done the CEDABOND figures.In case you don't know, CEDABOND is a group of catering equipment dealers who get together to buy as a consortium. Although our sales to the group are a little down on last year for the first nine months of 2009 it was pleasing to see September around 30% up on last September.Thanks members.



Orange Wednesday last night was Creation. If you could sum a film up in one word, the word for this film is "melancholy". I think the poster is a bit of a cheat though. They've chosen exotic beach shots that make you think of Darwen's trips to the Galapagos but the film is almost exclusively set in a wet England. Mind you I suppose a colourful beach will put more bums on seats than a dark study. Marion thought it was good. I thought it was ....er.... well.... melancholy.



I had to laugh this morning when I asked Factory Leader Tony Mercer if we had hit our September production target. As Tony so often tells us, we don't hit September because that's when he has his holidays, but we did this year (sort of). We've just modified the fill elbow on the 1500LCD. This meant a different polystyrene insulation section was needed for the lid. We had some pieces the correct size but they were too thick so it looked like we would miss the target. But Steve Eyres, ever the innovator, solved the problem by driving over the over-thick poly in the fork lift truck. Don't laugh (even though I did). It worked! They don't call us "the innovators" for nothing.



With all the news of Mao's 60th anniversary on TV last night I noticed something unusual. When I was a kid everyone pronounced his name "Mowtsy Tung" but last night Sophie Rayworth on the BBC ten o'clock news kept calling him "Mousy Dung". Which is it "Mowtsy Tung" or "Mousy Dung"? There's only one way to find out!



Praise the Lord. Harry is back a week on Saturday.Which reminds me that the real X Factor is also back at the weekend after this year's lousy new format auditions stage. Marion and I both agree that our early choice Joe is in with a great chance and I'll be very surprised if he doesn't come through Boot Camp.

Dan Brown A Publishing Phenomenon

It would have been nice if it was my novel "Give Your Tomorrow" that was grabbing all the headlines this morning following it's massively successful launch. But, sad to say, it wasn't. No, it was Dan Brown and his new book "The Lost Symbol". According to the reviewers in the posh papers it seems that the book is a load of rubbish but, with Tesco reportedly selling nineteen copies per minute and ASDA shifting 18,000 yesterday, I doubt that Dan will be losing much sleep over the reviews. I haven't read any of Dan Brown's books but I believe that this one takes a swipe at the Freemasons and that can't be a bad thing.



So what have I got against the Freemasons? It's a long story so I'll try and keep it short. I once worked for a bank. It was full of Freemasons. I had a very nice manager and one day I had a heart to heart with him and told him how much I disliked the way that the masons were getting business by scratching each others' backs. It was a way for mediocrity to rise to the top and all the top jobs in the bank were being taken by them. My manager nodded sagely in agreement.

A few weeks later it was my annual appraisal with my manager. I was gobsmacked when I had was given a C rating having only ever had A ratings throughout my entire career. I complained to head office who were sympathetic. My manager was apologetic but stood by his appraisal with no valid explanation.

A few weeks later I was working late and the manager's door swung ajar. He rushed to shut it but not before I spotted him dressed in full masonic regalia, apron and the lot. I didn't spot if his trouser leg was rolled up but the mystery of the C rating was solved.



Along similar lines, the Harper Collins Authonomy website seems to have developed a mutual support mentality. Budding novelists such as me upload their books onto the site and wait for constructive comments. The more support a book gets, the higher it rises in the rankings. The prize at the end of the month is an appraisal by the Harper Collins editorial team. But members are inundated by fellow eager novelists asking for comments on their books in return for comments on yours. Are you going to write "This is worse than Dan Brown" if you think that they might support your novel? No. So the upshot is the person who writes to the most members asking them to look at "The Book Wot I Wrote" is more likely to be at the top at the end of the month than the new (but very quiet) William Shakespeare.



If you are new to this blog and are asking yourself "what the hell has this got to do with boilers?", here's our best selling 1500LCD just for you. We sold out of these for the first time last Friday but Jason got the lads together and with a big effort we were back in stock with another 100 plus yesterday leaving customers boilerless for just a couple of days. I'm hoping that production is running to target as Factory Leader Tony Mercer is back from his holiday next week and we'll never hear the end of it if we miss targets in the only month that he's off for a fortnight (again).



We are supporting the 10:10 campaign - the campaign to save 10% emissions in 2010. As usual for Instanta we aren't doing the obvious like saving on lighting or heating, we did all that years ago when we got our ISO14001 accreditation from BSI. No, we are making our contribution to 10:10 through extra energy efficiency measures in our new ranges to be launched at Hotelympia in February. We aren't going to tell you what these are as we know that our competitors are regular blog readers but all will be revealed at Hotelympia. Lincat will have plenty of time to come and have a look as they won't be exhibiting this time.




Got to fly now to go and get Marion and Jane tickets for Orange Wednesday's showing of Julie and Julia. I'll leave you with an appropriate tribute to the wonderful Patrick Swayze. R.I.P Patrick.

Working For BA And Death By Chocolate

If his staff approve British Airways Chief Executive Willie Walsh's plans,they really will be working for BA one month. It seems that the airline is in such dire straits that Willie is going to work for nothing in July and has asked his loyal workers to follow suit.The problem is Willie that when your monthly salary is over £60,000 it's a bit easier than when it's £2,000. It's an understandable gambit- work for nothing and save your job. I wonder how the idea of working for SFA might go down here at Instanta.



Here's the lovely Lauren who,left with spare time on her hands at the weekend, decided (as you do) to make rice krispie cakes with boyfriend Darren.Darren, larking around as ever, decided to break the chocolate slab by holding it in front of his forehead and butting it macho style. But unbeknown to her incredible hulk, Lauren had stored the thick bar in the fridge leaving it rock hard.Result? A very sheepish Darren with huge comic style lump on forehead. When Lauren had recovered from her less than sympathetic doubling up with laughter she went on to make the fancies and brought some in for us to try. Thanks Lauren.



It's good to see democracy breaking out in Iran. After the weekend's over hasty announcement that Amadinajhad had won within an hour of the polls closing it seems that the governing body (with the president conveniently out of the country on a diplomatic mission to Russia)has announced a recount. Well done. If he then proves to have won (which judging from the mass demonstrations may be unlikely)at least he will be seen to have won fairly.



What a coup for Shamrock Rovers. The first game that the mighty Real Madrid send their new Galacticos Kaka and Ronaldo out onto the pitch is scheduled for 20th July in Eire against the Dublin part timers whose star striker Gary Twigg at £25,000 probably cost a fraction of the price of Ronaldo's watch.



And speaking of Galacticos, tomorrow night's Orange Wednesday film visit is a toss up between "Looking For Eric" and "Hangover" which is what I had after Eric ruined the trip I had with my kids Paul and Sarah to the 1996 Wembley Cup Final. I'll never forget Paul's tear streaked face paint on the weary journey home. Both films got well above average reviews and both are comedies. I think we'll try Eric first as, here on Merseyside, there's a chance that it might not still be on next week.



Another day, another offer. Today's offer is the best selling 1500LCD at the 2008 price of £399. A few customers have complained that I'm not giving them enough time to get the orders in before the offers expire so this offer will close at 5pm tomorrow 17th June 2009 and orders must be with us by then and MUST quote blog offer 160609. This means that until 5pm tonight when yesterday's offer of 10% off the DB2000 closes there will be no less than three special deals running. (The third deal is on used and ex demo equipment on the Notice Board section of the website. Until the end of June you can make us an offer on these items).



After the sad death of Humphrey Littleton we thought that would be the end of Radio 4's long running "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue" but it was back last night under the chairmanship of Stephen Fry. I didn't get chance to catch it but hope to listen tonight on the BBC Website. I doubt that anybody could get away with the outrageous double entendres like Humph.Sample quote "Samantha tells me she’s had to nip out to meet a nice chap who’s training her in computer skills. Tonight, she hopes he’s going to show her the 3.5 inch floppy he’s got in his Mac…" But we're looking forward to hearing how it went.Ross and Brand were crucified for being rude on the radio. Humph was adored for material like this.....