Seeing Stars

I've been working almost non stop for the last twenty four hours. We had a staff meeting yesterday and I announced a staff production bonus and profit share in respect of the ten months to 30th June. I then had to put this into action and, in addition, calculate the wages on a weekly basis for the last time before we switch to monthly pay with effect from 1st August. I don't think that I have had such a complicated set of calculations in the last twenty years and my head is reeling. I even broached my biggest taboo and worked at home last night to make sure that it was all done in time to meet the bank's payment deadline. I think I deserve some time off now but I have to get cracking on the new computer system and time is precious.

I've been so busy that I am late in reporting the arrival at Instanta of young Tim Isherwood who started on the shop floor a couple of weeks ago. Tim (19)is another local lad and he tells me that,after studying media, he is very interested in computers and computer graphics as well as being keen on badminton and table tennis. Welcome Tim. Apologies for the delay. I hope you have a very enjoyable time working here.



And here are a couple of important visitors who have been beavering away on our audit this week. Big Alan Finch of Moore Stephens has audited our books for six years now and he is always very welcome. It's nice to deal with a true gentleman and Alan is certainly that. This year he is accompanied by trainee charted accountant Patrick McGain. Patrick (25) has been with the firm for four years after completing an economics degree in Northumbria. A keen hockey player, he is also a season ticket holder at Everton but we won't hold that against him. I am sorry that my workload has prevented me from talking to him for long but I hope that he has enjoyed his visit and wish him success in completing his qualification.



I went to the doctor this morning to see if my blood pressure was causing my light headedness and tiredness and to see if I could reduce my pills. Typically my BP was quite high (it always is at the docs - they call it white coat syndrome)so I have to keep taking the tablets. But she decided that my symptoms were being caused by the pain from the bad hip which is affecting my sleep patterns and causing fatigue. So she has prescribed some pain killers and I hope that they do the trick. The last pain killers caused terrible stomach problems so I hope these are more benign.

I'll finish today with a video for our auditors. As they are both Evetonians I though they might like to see a team in blue and white who can score a goal.

Oi. Paper Boys You Might Be On Summer Holiday Now

That doesn't mean that everyone else is. One of my pleasures in life is my daily attempt to complete the Guardian quick crossword in under three minutes before leaving for work. I don't always achieve it but get a lot of fun trying. During term time the newspaper arrives on the doormat at around seven thirty leaving plenty of time to fit in the crossword before leaving to pick up the Instanta post from the post office. But what happens when school has broken up and the kids are on holiday? I empty the dishwasher and go to the door for the paper, It's not there. I prepare breakfast and go to the door for the paper. It's not there. I eat breakfast and go to the door for the paper. It's not there. I tidy up the breakfast dishes and go to the door for the paper. It's not there. I check how my lousy Betfair bets on Big Brother are doing and go to the door for the paper. It's not there. By now you will be getting the gist of things. Today the paper arrived a good hour later than usual and I had to try and complete the crossword whilst brushing my teeth. So come on paperboys (and girls). What's the point of a daily paper if you can't read it in the morning? Not every customer in Southport is a pensioner (even if it feels like it).





We've got a staff meeting later today. This is where I give everyone a quick rundown on how things have gone for the last few months and what we've got planned for the future. We talk about things like wages and bonuses . I used to hold these regularly but this is the first since we were taken over in January as we needed to integrate with our new owners before moving forward. This is now starting to fall into place so I've got plenty of news to report to everyone. And if you phone between 4.40 and 5pm I am afraid that we probably won't be available. Apologies in advance. Our parent company Zip is holding a big annual conference in the East Midlands in a couple of weeks. This is themed on the title "The Best Is Yet To Come" which I suppose is in honour of me and Max who are making a appearance and speaking to the service team at the very end of the conference. It's a pity I never themed my staff meetings in the past. We could have had 'Who Nicked The Brass?" "Any Tips For X Factor?" and "Can Anyone Think Of Something Other Than Bowling For A Night Out?"



I've been treated for high blood pressure for five or six years now. It's been under control but I have had to take four pills every day to keep it there. However, due to the diet that we've been on for the last two months, I'm now almost two stone lighter and I think that this is having an effect on the BP as I have started to feel light headed, faint and very very tired now and then. A quick check has given readings of 110 over 60 which isn't too low but I'm off to see the doctor tomorrow in case my medication needs to be adjusted downwards.



There are signs that our furry little friends have returned to the garage and after one of them took the Green And Blacks organic chocolate every night for the past four nights without being caught (I have a feeling that they have worked out how to open the trap and are using it as a sort of mousy hotel), I bought four of these traps at the garden centre on Sunday and I hope that one of these will do the trick. The garage floor looks like a rodent version of the Crystal Maze. Lets hope that it's lock in tonight. Clearly mice with up-market tastes (none of your Cheddar or Cadburys for them) the old trap was probably not swish enough for them. Let's hope that they prefer the new sparkly white ones. If they don't I may get the following photo blown up and leave it as a warning.




Or maybe this will do the trick. It was banned from the London Tube. Sound effects have been added.