It Never Pours But It P****s Down

After three weeks in the broadband wilderness I thought that things couldn't get much worse until Instanta's computer network server collapsed and died yesterday just to rub it in. But things were looking positively rosy by comparison this morning as Marion and I set off in bright sunshine to a lunch appointment with old customers who had invited us to see them before we retire. Three miles outside Southport the car started to drive noisily and I realised that we had a flat. I thought it would be a minor inconvenience until I discovered that the Prius does not have a spare tyre but an emergency repair kit that comprises an electric compressor which pumps sealant into the tyre and inflates it sufficiently to get you to a garage. Sadly this innovation, which I assume is designed to cut weight in the car, failed to do the job and I ended up several hours later with the very pleasant and capable AA engineer, Imran, who kindly took off the wheel and drove me to Kwik Fit to replace the tyre and then back to the car to refit it. Fortunately Tony drove out to us and took Marion back to the office where, minus computers, she helped everyone to prepare for the madness that will arise tomorrow when the new computer server arrives. At least I have been told that the computer data has been saved.

Most people have an urge to go an a cruise when they retire. We wouldn't mind doing this but it is not our top priority and our only holiday plans are to drive down to Ille De Re in France next spring for a cycling holiday. I really don't fancy going through that puncture rigmarole again in a foreign country on unfamiliar roads so, to hell with the fuel efficiency, I'm going to buy a spare wheel to take with us on longer journeys. Today we were only three miles from home and it was late morning. The same scenario at midnight on a French country lane doesn't bear thinking about. I believe that Toyota are not alone in not supplying a spare. I don't think that it's a great idea as I don't think I've owned a singe car in the past thirty years that hasn't had at least one puncture. Until now I've been happy with the Prius and this is the first negative but it's a big one.

We went to see"The Town" last night. I had very high hopes for this film as it has received almost universally positive reviews. Now it's certainly a film worth watching and if you enjoy crime movies you will probably love it but we just felt that it didn't quite live up to the fulsome praise that came before it. The film centres around star and director Ben Afflek and his gang of bank robbing hoodlums attempting to outwit the FBI's finest (in the form of John Hamm "Mad Men's" Don Draper). There are some great car chases and several violent and audacious heists including a final showdown at Fenway Park home of Boston's famous Red Sox. But for me the action was too reminiscent of old gangster movies and the Wild West style gun fights,the underlying love story and the sinister Irish mafia family led by Pete Postlethwaite failed to convince. Don't be put off, it's an entertaining film but, in my opinion, not quite the five star movie that it's been billed as.


Thanks to the well wishers who sent me birthday greetings yesterday. I had some great cards and presents (including enough cash to pay for the new tyre). But in keeping with the overall tone of the week I got home today to another card and a letter in the post. The letter was from the Inland Revenue saying I had underpaid £700 and the card? From some old friends (I recognised the writing) but the envelope was empty. Let's hope that next week sees an upturn in our fortunes.


Dave Wilson's back from two week's management training in Australia. He's picked up some great ideas on productivity. Here's the proposed new working speed for Instanta assembly workers as demonstrated by an Asian workforce.

Getting The Hang Of Using The Prius Efficiently

I've been driving the Prius for almost four months now and have heard all the jokes. I didn't buy it as a status vehicle. I bought it to simply try and be green and reduce my carbon footprint. Drivers are encouraged to improve their fuel efficiency by trying to beat their past best trip mpg and this becomes quite addictive. It's a little like a computer game player wanting to beat the high score. Until today my "scores" have always been around the 64mpg level on long trips and I was a bit disappointed with that but I have started to appreciate exactly when the car is driving efficiently and when it is not and made a big effort on the trip across to the CEDA conference here in Lincolnshire. And the result? 78mpg. That's a big improvement.



75 is what the manufacturers state in their literature so I was pleased to beat their figure. How was it achieved? Well, the most important factor was keeping to 60mph on the motorway. Now I know that that sounds a bit boring and some would say it might be dangerous but I made sure that I did not cause any lorries to slow down and sped up if that looked like it might be a possibility. The traffic was pretty heavy anyway so we kept catching up with those that overtook us and we arrived at our destination just 12 minutes later than we would have done if we had stuck to the sat nav forecast which puts in motorway speeds at 70. It also helps to drive behind (not on the tail) a big HGV as the slipstream seems to help fuel use. There are other minor tips to help but now that we've scored 78, I've got to aim for 80 on the way back.



Here at the conference, we arrived for lunch and then went into the first big meeting with CEDABOND. The meeting lasted a full er twenty minutes leaving us somewhat short of things to do business wise this afternoon so I'm writing up the blog. I expected a full afternoon of input from the meeting so was a bit disappointed that we could only stretch it to 2.20pm. Never mind. There's a big dinner tonight so perhaps we can sell something then.



I spoke to Gavin at the office earlier. The good news is that more circuits have arrived today and the factory can get on with catching up on the order backlog. The bad news is that the price of nickel is set to double and that will put our stainless steel up significantly. That makes it look like the recession is clearly on its way out. Last year the price fell so we held prices in a lot of cases but this will make rises inevitable when the steel price filters through.


Tonight's dinner is advertised as a "networking" dinner whatever that is. I checked it out on youTube and came up with this.

Blue Monday. How was it for you?

You have probably read about that scientist who came up with a formula that proved that yesterday was officially the worst day of the year. It seems that this third Monday in January is a totally depressing day for millions and everyone is fed up. Well I was quite upbeat as I had bought a lovely antique Chinese bowl on eBay to add to my collection and was quite looking forward to its arrival.

And then it arrived.

And then I read that the Toyota Prius is now the favoured car of a leading Premiership footballer. That's great news. Football stars following my lead but then I read on to find out who this green Eco warrior footballer is and discover that it's none other than Gary Neville. Gary Neville! Isn't he the one with the chant "He hates scousers"? Yes. So there's my lift from that news gone.


So I took Marion along to see the new George Clooney film "Up in the air".In keeping with the Blue Monday theme I thought that this might not live up to the billing but I was pleasantly surprised and we both enjoyed the film very much. There are some great performances from Clooney and his co star, the beautiful Vera Farmiga, and the film gave us the lift that meant that Blue Monday wasn't blue at all.



And it certainly isn't a blue Tuesday. I just did the figures for December and I'm pleased to say that our figures for the first four months of the financial year are significantly better than the figures for the same period last year. And Craig tells me that he reckons today has been his best ever day for orders on the sales desk so with Blue Monday behind us we can move on towards happy days.

I'll finish today with the boys in blue. You'll have already seen it but I have to make a comment. These blokes have done more to improve the public's perception of the police force than any amount of PR. And what do they get for it? A dressing down from the boss.

10:10 Our Commitment Starts Now

In an attempt to do our bit for global warming, Marion and I are now proud owners of a Toyota Prius. We've only had it for a few days and have only driven some short journeys but it looks like it's going to give us some good fuel consumption figures. One thing that is very noticeable is the engine noise (or lack of it). When driving on the battery the car is virtually silent. One thing that attracted me to the car was the automatic parking assist which allows the car to reverse park itself (if you've ever seen my attempts at reverse parking you will know what an asset this could be). Only problem is I can't work out how to use it yet. I'll have a practice in the car park here later and see if I can manage.



How things have changed. I remember Christmases past when the kids were eagerly anticipating the arrival of Father Christmas with all the latest gadgets whilst sad old mum and dad got something for the kitchen. This year the tables were completely turned with Sarah and Paul buying us a Nintendo Wii whilst we were giving them stuff for their kitchens. The Wii is good but you have to stand well clear of Marion or a black eye is a real possibility.



Shortly before we shut down for the Christmas break I reported that buyer Gavin had proposed to his partner Julie but illustrated the news with an inappropriate photo of Gav in shorts outside a beach bar. But now we've got something a bit more like it. Here are the happy couple in front of a romantic Caribbean sunset. What a glamorous pair they make.



Marion and I came into the office during the holidays. Marion tidied up the books whilst I wrote a newsletter that we're sending out very soon. It's all about prices for 2010. They come into effect on 1st March. We've managed to keep the increases to a minimum and any big price hikes will be matched by a corresponding improvement in features. From 1st March our CT and WM range will offer programme upgrades that will be in keeping with the 10:10 initiative. We'll tell you more soon.Here is a sneak preview of the prices. There are a few gaps, it's a work in progress.



It's freezing today. I hope the car park is not too icy to try the parking assist. And I hope the Prius holds the road better than this.

Well Done Josephine

In the absence of a photograph of son Paul's fiance Josephine in her dodge ball outfit, here's a photo of her hat. Dressed as a penguin,Josephine took part in a charity dodge ball tournament in London on Saturday.Being American she was possibly one of the few people who actually understood the rules of this wacky game and, as a result, her team triumphed and managed to raise a magnificent £5,000 in support of breast cancer. Well done Josephine. Any photos of the games?



Here's Lee Moore from our office demonstrating his skills as a Christmas tree decorator. Thank you for brightening up our reception area Lee. It looks good. Just straighten it up a little.We will be closing on Christmas Eve at lunch time and will reopen on 4th January.



The local Toyota garage just phoned to say that the Prius is on schedule to arrive on 31st December and will be ready for me and Marion to collect on 4th January. It is another of our attempts at supporting the 10:10 initiative and I'm pretty sure that by the end of 2010 we will have actually reduced our emissions by more than the target 10%.



I have been dipping my toe back into the eBay water a bit lately and just took delivery of this superb art deco vase designed by leading designer Charlotte Rhead.Being wrongly categorised and described, I am pleased that I was able to pick it up fairly cheaply. I've now got a cupboard full of antiques to sell on eBay. Only problem will be finding the time to list them all.Maybe when things get quieter here.




Stop press. An email just arrived with a photo of the dodge ball team. There's Josephine 2nd right looking suitably aggressive. I better not upset her when she's married to Paul.




Have you Seen all the fuss about the Facebook group who got together to try and make Rage Against The Machine the Christmas number one to try and get one over on Simon Cowell? It seems that they are being successful. All I can say is that anybody who buys it simply to spite Simon is a mug and wasting their money on a tuneless dirge.I've just joined the Facebook group Joe McElderry for Christmas Number one. There are 86 members already. And how many in the Rage Against The Machine group? Er 41,000. Come on Joe.

It's A White Rabbit Day Today

I'm late - so late - for writing today's blog. By the time I finish this it will be time for tomorrow's blog. Why? Well I've been off to Ribchester to visit the super Workhouse Marketing and plan next year's brochure. "About time he did some work" I hear echoing behind me. We've come up with some good ideas. It's very difficult to improve on something that is already nearly perfect but we've taken on board the few criticisms levelled by Nick and Peter (feedback from their customers)and hope to iron out those few minor niggles.If there's anything you don't like about the current brochure, speak now or forever hold your peace.



One thing we will be highlighting in our new brochure is our ongoing commitment to green issues. We are supporting the 10:10 campaign. One of the first things that we have to do is run more fuel efficient vehicles. I've got my Prius on order. The lease on Nick's BMW will be expiring next year so, sorry Nick, looks like you will be joining me.




I decided to watch the second half of Liverpool's game against Leeds last night. I didn't want to impose the football on Marion and said that I would watch it in the spare upstairs bedroom so she could watch something of her own choice. But Marion kindly agreed to go upstairs and watch our thirty year old Hitachi portable (which works great). It's quite amazing watching high definition on a 30 year old set. They don't make things like they used to do they?



Spare a thought for young Craig Buckley. He planned his second week on the road meticulously and drove out into the extremities of Wales. He arrived at two of his appointments bang on time only to be told "Sorry "x" (who shall remain nameless)is not in". Now I don't know about you but I think that's pretty bad form. How much does it cost to phone and make a cancellation. That would have saved Craig a long drive, a huge waste of fuel emissions and the expense of his time and motoring costs.

I'll finish today with some skaters trying to replicate a game very much like Tetris. It's not quite the Baa Studs and their sheep but as they asked me so nicely I couldn't refuse.

When Jenny Met Craigie

Instanta's own love story comes to a culmination today with the wedding of our Stores And Office Manager Jenny Wright to Salesman Craig Buckley. Jenny and Craig met here at Instanta in 2001 when the tall shy young man started as our Office Junior. Romance blossomed several years later and we hope that they have a wonderful today and a great future together. Look in on the blog tomorrow for some photos as Marion and I have managed to take time out to watch the big event.



My love affair with Mercedes ends tomorrow when the lease on my lovely CLS320cdi expires. Having driven a Merecedes of some type or other for about twelve years now I will be sorry to see it go back but I was being hypocritical banging on about green issues whilst at the same time driving a car that does 30mpg (if you drive it extremely carefully and slowly). So the Toyota Prius hybrid beckons. Sadly that is three months away but in the meantime my mum has driven to the rescue. My knight in shining armour has come to my aid with her Nissan. She's off to Spain and won't be needing it for a few months. Stop Press: Phone call from Mum. Nissan been involved in accident. AAAAAAAAAAAAAggggggggggg.



The phones have been going mad here this morning. It's gone midday and I haven't finished the blog yet. Same happened on Friday when I didn't even get time to start it. Something wrong there. I can't be getting my priorities right. Nice to hear the office so busy though but I'm looking forward to a breather and not so much hard work.



On a chilling note I take back all my criticisms of the security procedures at airports after reading the reports on the soft drinks bomb plot. I've no plan to travel by plane in the near future because its just too much hassle nowadays but I can fully understand the reasoning behind it now. I just thought it was yet another case of British overkill but if the intelligence services hadn't handled the case so well the overkill would have been the number of innocent transatlantic passengers.

I'll finish on topical note. Let's hope that Craig's best man is not so clumsy.

We Are Backing The 10:10 Campaign

The Guardian is promoting the 10:10 campaign today. The campaign is aimed at encouraging individuals and businesses to reduce their energy use by 10% in 2010 hence the 10:10. Regular customers know that Instanta was amongst the first business of this type to establish a real environmental management system and we were accredited with the prestigious ISO 140001 by BSI as long ago as 2004. As a result it might be quite difficult for Instanta to achieve yet another 10% saving but we will be encouraging our customers to do so by implementing even more energy saving ideas in our new product range to be launched at Hotelympia in February 2010.



On a personal note, Marion and I intend to change all our spotlights for those made by our electronics supplier John Walkinshaw's company LED lighting solutions. I have mentioned these on the blog before but their energy saving potential is phenomenal. The product is the first true replacement for MR16 lamps, it uses LED technology to provide the same brightness as a normal lamp and yet uses only 7 watts of power compared to 50 watts for a normal lamp. It contains no harmful products unlike fluorescent lamps and emits a warm natural light for domestic use. In addition, the gas guzzling Mercedes is going back next week to be replaced by the Toyota Prius although unfortunately demand is such that we can't get one until January. (Thanks to my mum for loaning her car to put us on).



Marion and I had a month of not drinking wine in an attempt to lose weight. The month ended last night and I baked us a pizza to celebrate and cracked open a nice bottle of Californian Merlot brought by my mum. Amazingly this is the bottle this morning with almost half its contents still intact.If I had shown you that a month ago you would have asked me where the other empty bottle was. But do you know? We just couldn't be bothered. We're not going to come over all preachy and teetotal but we've realised that alcohol is no big deal.



Orange Wednesday tomorrow and this week we're off to see the new Final Destination in 3D. I know, I know it's not exactly high brow but it should be a bit of a laugh after a busy week of year end accounts and some escapism won't go amiss.


Things are steaming ahead with Paul and Josephine's wedding. They have now set up a website. It's really sweet. You will soon be able to check it out and I'll put a link on the blog.




And speaking of true love, did you see ITV's adaptation of Wuthering Heights last night? I thought it was great although I bet there wasn't a single person over 40 who didn't at some point hear Kate Bush singing in their head.

Hasn't She Grown!

Here's Nat's baby Olivia who popped in to see us this morning.We haven't seen her for a short while and she has really grown. Nat left us recently to spend more time with her baby and we can certainly understand why as she is a lovely little girl and full of fun and energy.

And speaking of lovely girls, we are missing Rebekah already. She left us a card with some very kind sentiments and we know that she has a brilliant future ahead of her. We're missing Lauren too and poor Marion and Jenny now have to cope with an office full of men. I just read that Labour has imposed women only shortlists on over half the seats of retiring MPS at the next election. Maybe we will have to do the same when we next recruit.



The decision on the new car has finally been made and we have gone for the Toyota Prius. We test drove it and its performance is not a patch on the Mercedes 320CDI but hey we are supposed to be going green and at over double the mpg it will have to be a price worth paying. It's good to see that Toyota must be doing OK as the waiting time for the new car is over 20 weeks. It seems that leather and the solar sun roof options are the cause of the hold up but we've always had a sun roof and don't want to do without one.



Did you see David Mitchell on "Who do you think you are" last night? I don't usually watch this programme but as a big fan of David M I gave it a try. It was fascinating to see the history of his great and great great Scottish grandparents but, after dwelling on the wonderful deeds of one of these ( A Reverend Forbes) who had saved factory girls and managed to educate young islanders sufficiently for them to go to university, with comic timing a distant cousin turned up with this paragon's will which included this amazing bequest

"To my beloved wife personally I cannot entrust anything. Prudence and my sense of duty forbid it. I do it with grief and pain, because she has, during the last 18 years, proved herself utterly unworthy of trust or confidence, being unfortunately addicted to the vice of intemperance. Contracting debts without my knowledge or permission. Imprudent and without any proper regard to necessary economy. Generally disobedient to the admonitions, advices and directions which were kindly given to her for her own best interest, both by myself and by her relatives and friends. Constantly trying to avoid the vigilance that has been used to prevent her from going wrong ... I earnestly request that there be very little drinking at my funeral." As Nancy Banks Smith said in this morning's Guardian "His wake was, one conjectures, a singularly sober affair apart, of course, from Mrs Forbes' highland fling."

Daughter Sarah arrived home last night for a few days. We'll have to organise a few days out. Knowsley Safari Park is just down the road. Perhaps we should give it a try. Or there again maybe not.

Boys Boys Boys

Here is proud mum Lisa,our store man Tony Lowe's daughter,with little Connor who was born on 30th June. Connor is Tony's second grandchild after Granddaughter Lexie who is now three. After all the Instanta girls reported on the blog it is nice to be able to report a boy at last and rumour has it that whilst Marion and I were off on holiday Assembly Worker Rafa's wife gave birth to another little boy.I'm sure Rafa will fill me in on the details when he's back. Perhaps the tide has turned at last and my worries about the imbalance of the sexes was premature.



Back at work today and we are delighted that once again we have returned to no major upsets a reasonable bank balance,a healthy order book and warranty calls below target. Mind you there is an appointment with the bank manager in the diary for Wednesday. What's that about? Seems she simply wants to introduce a new regional director. Phew.



The Toyota garage phoned to say that the new Prius is available for a test drive so we are going to have a look at it tomorrow. Now that I've resigned myself to life without the Mercedes I'm quite keen on doing my bit for the ecology and will be trying to see if I can match those fuel fugitive people who managed 126mpg.

Artist Cobi Sanders has kindly agreed to me using a beautiful watercolour that we bought from her whilst on the island of Symi for the cover of my novel. Cobi lives on the island of Symi and my novel is about an island based on it. She is a fantastic artist and you can check out her work HERE No I haven't found a publisher but I am going to print half a dozen copies for family and friends at the espresso book machine in Blackwells in London. I've written 52,000 words but I'm pretty sure that's too short to get published. I've emailed a few copies to family but nobody apart from Marion has struggled through it yet so I'll have to be realistic and not fool myself that it's a book people won't be able to put down.

I'll leave today with a song specially chosen for one of my regular readers. I'm not saying who but I'm sure they'll guess!

Let's Hear It For Channel Four

With television full of changed schedules on Friday night we watched a couple of the biographies of Michael Jackson and pretty grim they were too with plenty of comments on the sex scandal charges and on his horrendous addiction to plastic surgery but then there was Channel 4 that stood out like a beacon. No lurid tabloid gossip, no snickering at the mess that he had become. No. Someone at Channel 4 made a decision (and a bloody brilliant one too) to simply string together an hour's worth of his best music videos and run a ticker tape along the bottom with some salient words such as "This was the most expensive video, this album came in at number one etc etc etc" and let us savour the reason why every newspaper, every news bulletin and every channel was covering little else. Hat's off to four. You even managed to bring a tear to these cold and unemotional eyes.



Today's final offer in our June month of daily deals is 50% off every unit that we have in our current ex-demo stock. We have managed to build up a fair number of boilers that have been returned following loan on exhibitions or use in trial kitchens, reclaimed from bankrupt customers or suffered minor transit damage.We have no real outlet for these items. Most are in new or nearly new condition and we can offer them at 50% off the (already discounted) prices that you will find by clicking HERE


Now that Jenny and Craig are back from their fortnight's holiday looking tanned and relaxed we have got to get down to deciding upon Natalie's replacement. We hope to have a decision by tomorrow so will be letting the lucky (or not so lucky maybe) applicant know very soon.

I am getting nowhere with the groin strain that has been troubling me for months now. It's easing ever so slightly but I am hobbling like an old man and have not been able to swim or play football since the first week of May. I've booked an appointment with a specialist this afternoon and maybe she will be able to advise me how to get it better. I don't want to raise my hopes too much but it is really starting to get me down.

It looks like the Toyota Prius is going to be the choice ahead of the Honda Insight. The deal clincher is the sun roof. The new Prius has a solar panelled sun roof as an option whereas the Insight has no sun roof option at all. The big problem is that the new Prius is not out yet so there are none of the super deals that I was expecting in these recessionary times. I was half expecting a buy one get one free offer such is the doom and gloom in the motor industry but no such luck. Even the APR on the deals that Toyota are offering at 10.5% is not exactly attractive. Another snag is that as they don't have one in the showroom yet I'll be buying blind.

Maybe I'll just go for one of these little numbers.

There's No Green Option With A Merc

In about eight weeks I have to hand the keys to my beautiful Merecedes CLS back to the local dealer and walk away holding back the tears. I'm not a car lover and don't know a spark plug from a carburettor but I do love this car. It has been a pleasure to drive and a joy to own. But all good things must come to an end and my conscience has been niggling away at me for the past three years. Instanta's hard earned and fully justified green credentials have been somewhat tarnished by my gas guzzling and somewhat hypocritical vehicle choice and it's time to redress the balance. Sadly there's no green or electric option with Mercedes and none of their cars could in any way be described as being green unless you're talking about the colour.



So how about the Teslar Roadster? This electric vehicle is due over here soon but, as sexy as it looks, I haven't arrived at the male menopause just yet and, to be honest, the reviews were far from enthusiastic.





So it looks like a toss up between these two.The Toyota Prius and the Honda Insight. Both have impeccable green credentials and both have a £15 road tax and no London Congestion charge. Both have an mpg approaching 60 and neither looks too bad.Is it just me or do you think that there has been a bit of copying here? Both these look incredibly similar. It will all boil down to features and a test drive.I'm starting to forget the Merc already.



Here's son Paul and his fiancee Josephine with the Black Farmer's daughter at the weekend's Taste Food Festival in Regent's Park.The couple had a great afternoon sampling the delights on offer and were one of the Black Farmer's daughter's first customers. Great brand name that. Don't know how it would go down in the States where there must be thousands of black farmers but it seems that ,over here, he's the only one.



Marion and I are taking our fellow board members for lunch at the Warehouse today. I don't seem to get the chance to chat here at the office and whenever we have board meetings it's all work, work, work so I thought that it might be good to allocate a bit of time to less business orientated conversation. No doubt we'll end up talking about all the staff. Just kidding if any of you are reading this.We'll only be talking about Craig.

Our special June offer today is 10% off the HCC60 heated cup carousel. This bargain price of just £562.50 is valid until 12 noon tomorrow 23rd June 2009 and to qualify orders must reach us by then and MUST quote reference blog offer 220609.


I'll leave you with a song for the day.