Phew

Blimey it's twelve minutes past four and I have only just got around to the blog. I seem to be losing my touch or maybe we are simply too busy. I haven't even had a lunch break today. Marion won't have a lot of sympathy as it's usually "I haven't even had a work break today" but anyway the reason? Annual Accounts. And I am pleased to say that they are now done and balanced (well they were 99p wrong but I'm not going to waste hours looking for that).The upshot? We ended the year with sales 0.4% down on last year. However the overheads were also down by a much larger figure so the next result is that profits were up (hooray!!). And bearing in mind that this is after we shared out £13,200 in productivity bonuses compared to £3,600 last year I am pretty pleased with the results. Next step is to discuss the staff annual wage round based on these results and the inflation figures.




I hear that Derren Brown correctly predicted the lottery results last night. Or at least he did a brilliant trick to give the illusion of doing so.He's a great magician and he's going to tell us all how he did it on Friday.I can only imagine that it involved a stooge who was very carefully hidden.Son Paul went to see him live a few months ago but we have never got around to discussing the show with him.Or perhaps Paul just had the illusion of going to see him.



Whilst Derren was predicting the lottery The Faroe Islands were messing up my football accumulator by actually winning a match. Flushed with success of taking my Betfair kitty from £150 to £800 in the last few weeks I had a seven team accumulator on the World Cup Qualifiers and The Faroes messed it up. Fortunately I had a back up of another accumulator which won but my £800 is down to £750 now. Never mind.




And here's why we missed Derren. We went for our regular Orange Wednesday film visit to see District Nine. I know that it was supposed to allegorical but all the allegory stuff seemed to disappear very quickly and it turned into a shoot em up. But it wasn't a routine shoot em up. It was a really good one and Sharlto Copley in the starring role was outstanding.

I'll have to finish now as it's almost time to go home. Here's how people reckon that Derren did the trick. Don't watch it it you don't want to know.

A Big Happy Birthday To Dave

It's been a very busy week of celebrations this week with Tony's 50th, Jenny & Craig's wedding and now Dave Horrock's 33rd. Dave (above) joined us sixteen years ago and is an integral part of our sheet metal working team. Dave lives with partner Emma and is the proud father of Cameron and Jack. He is a very keen Evertonian and we always look forward to his funny messages on our Guardian Pick The Score Website after they have had a particularly good result. Sadly these are few and far between but they are worth waiting for. Have a good day Dave. The lads are having a whip round for some fridge magnets.

I promised some of our happy couple Jenny and Craig's wedding photos. And here they are. I don't pretend to be David Bailey but Liz's husband Mark saved the day with his (they're the good ones). It was a really pleasant service at the Town Hall and the marquee reception was lovely.









And here's our buyer, Assistant Director Gavin Ford with son Nick.



It's Nick's first day at school today.He's a really happy and very funny little boy and I'm sure that his teachers will love having him in their classes.

Not a lot of time for blogging today. I had to run my mum to the station as she's off to london for a wedding and this afternoon I have to take my mum-in-law to hospital for a six month check up. That means I can't decide on tonight's Orange Wednesday as her appointment is a lottery. We might be seen at 2.30 (pigs might fly!). Last time it was 6.15.

When Jenny Met Craigie

Instanta's own love story comes to a culmination today with the wedding of our Stores And Office Manager Jenny Wright to Salesman Craig Buckley. Jenny and Craig met here at Instanta in 2001 when the tall shy young man started as our Office Junior. Romance blossomed several years later and we hope that they have a wonderful today and a great future together. Look in on the blog tomorrow for some photos as Marion and I have managed to take time out to watch the big event.



My love affair with Mercedes ends tomorrow when the lease on my lovely CLS320cdi expires. Having driven a Merecedes of some type or other for about twelve years now I will be sorry to see it go back but I was being hypocritical banging on about green issues whilst at the same time driving a car that does 30mpg (if you drive it extremely carefully and slowly). So the Toyota Prius hybrid beckons. Sadly that is three months away but in the meantime my mum has driven to the rescue. My knight in shining armour has come to my aid with her Nissan. She's off to Spain and won't be needing it for a few months. Stop Press: Phone call from Mum. Nissan been involved in accident. AAAAAAAAAAAAAggggggggggg.



The phones have been going mad here this morning. It's gone midday and I haven't finished the blog yet. Same happened on Friday when I didn't even get time to start it. Something wrong there. I can't be getting my priorities right. Nice to hear the office so busy though but I'm looking forward to a breather and not so much hard work.



On a chilling note I take back all my criticisms of the security procedures at airports after reading the reports on the soft drinks bomb plot. I've no plan to travel by plane in the near future because its just too much hassle nowadays but I can fully understand the reasoning behind it now. I just thought it was yet another case of British overkill but if the intelligence services hadn't handled the case so well the overkill would have been the number of innocent transatlantic passengers.

I'll finish on topical note. Let's hope that Craig's best man is not so clumsy.

It Was Fifty Years Ago Today

It was fifty years ago today that a young Anthony Mercer arrived in the world and I am sure that all blog readers will join me in wishing him a very happy birthday in his holiday resort of Alcudia in sunny Mallorca.(He's changed a bit from the cheeky little chappy above) I am sure that Tony will be too busy holidaying to read this so I might get away with taking a few liberties. (Only kidding Tony I know there's an Internet cafe just down the road from the hotel).Tony has spent 35 of his 50 years here at Instanta and has held the role of factory leader for over twenty of those years. Married to Linda and proud father to Gillian, Rachel and Craig and granddad to Craig's lovely daughter Amelia, Tony has led the factory to hitting all production targets in every month of our last financial year bar September. And when did Tony take his fortnight's holiday? You guessed. September. If you are reading this Tony. Have a good one.



He went from cheeky schoolboy to suave and sophisticated with the smouldering look.



And here he is with son Craig who now works in our machine shop and had the sense to support a decent football team instead of his dad's beloved MU.

Have a drink on us Tony.



I learned an important lesson in humility in Tesco on Friday evening. Anyone who knows me will also know that I am not the most tolerant and patient where queues are involved and I can be seen trawling the checkout area in search of the fastest cashiers with the shortest queues. On Friday we found the perfect one - just one customer ahead and a young lady on the till. But we were there for an eternity as the customer she was serving queried the bill and the special offers and the price and just about every bloody thing he could query. I was doing my rolling eyes act, arms folded and shifting from foot to foot when I realised that the poor customer had special needs. The trip to do his own shopping was probably a huge ordeal for him and it was one that he overcame with success. Marion got chatting with him and I felt very small at my impatience.I think that the lesson I learned was to try and think twice before forming an impression. We were still late home with the shopping though.



For fear of looking like a stalker I have resisted the urge to write to Kathryn Flett of the Observer to tell her how brilliant her writing is. So I'll just have to say it here. Her weekly column in the Observer magazine is an exceptional example of humorous writing at its very best and this week's article about her being invited to open an arts festival in her home town of "Random on Sea" was beautifully observed. As a star of "Grumpy Old Women" she was given more ammunition when she was referred to as Random's "crankiest" old woman and introduced by the mayor as Carolyn.You can read the full column here and if you like a good laugh, buy the Observer. You won't be disappointed. PS Her TV column is wonderful too.



Did you see that the BBC has discovered a new species of giant rat? No it's not Chris Moyles but it seems that a Beeb film crew explored a volcano crater in Papua New Guinea and it was like The Land That Time Forgot with scores of new creatures being discovered. Well done BBC but please, whatever you do, don't bring any back here.

I'll finish with a little film for Tony.

A Strange Case Of Deja Vu At Vue

Although deja vu is a topic that runs through all the Final Destination films, my headline today refers to last night's 3D effects at the local Vue cinema. Marion and I have been to three 3D offerings in the last few months, "Coraline 3D", "Ice Age 3D" and now "The Final Destination 3D" and there is no question that the effects are quite spectacular but all three films rely heavily on two effects - floaty things (e.g leaves, burning paper) and long pointy things that zoom out of the screen towards you. I enjoyed last night's film immensely for these effects (it would have been mediocre without them) but, unless the film makers manage to move away from long pointy things and give us a bit of variety, I can see a short life for this exciting new media. (It may have potential for a niche in the porn industry).



It's celebration time next week at Instanta with two big events affecting three of our people. Factory leader Tony Mercer is 50 on Monday but just because he is on holiday next week doesn't mean he won't get coverage on the blog. And on Tuesday it's THE WEDDING. Office manager Jenny Wright is marrying Salesman Craig Buckley.To my knowledge this is the very first Instanta marriage in 52 years and we have let them both have the day off! Look out for the photos on Wednesday.





Our sales team is off the road today as Nick, Peter and Craig are in Liverpool undertaking a training day with Andy Bounds Ltd. I'm really looking forward to their feedback from the day and hope that it gives them some good ideas.





This year's Big Brother has passed almost unnoticed here at Instanta. Last year it was a real water cooler topic and, with Craig, Max and Jenny's advice I managed to win a couple of hundred pounds without watching it. This year nobody has watched it and I stand to win a meagre £22.50 on Betfair if the favourite wins and about £18 if it's anybody else.


We haven't had a competition on the blog recently. But if you like them here's an interesting one with $300,000 in prizes.

Pete Like's Driving In His Car

Here's Northern Area Sales Manager Peter Brindle with his new Mazda 6TS2 which arrived yesterday. It's a lovely looking car but Pete says he has to put the seats down to get his golf clubs in. All I can say is "Well Peter. You chose it!"



We signed up to the 10:10 initiative that I mentioned on the blog yesterday and are going to do our best to cut our carbon footprint in 2010. You can do your bit by clicking here. Yesterday's Guardian was full of helpful tips including the wearing of thermal underwear and putting a brick in the loo cistern. But the best bit of advice was "share your newspapers". Now that's what I call magnanimous. A bit like a turkey voting for Christmas.



I just nipped out to the pictures to get the tickest for tonight's Orange Wednesday offering "Final Destination 3D". I'm really looking forward to it even if it is just the same old gory offering as the last one. 3d should make it far more interesting.



My head is spinning with figures as I have been preparing the forecast for next year. Hopefully we should do OK. I didn't know what pay level to put in as we usually agree an annual figure in line with inflation. But it seems that over 50% of companies have had no pay increase this year and those that have have averaged 1% or less. We'll have to see.


I'll close with a dedication to Peter.

We Are Backing The 10:10 Campaign

The Guardian is promoting the 10:10 campaign today. The campaign is aimed at encouraging individuals and businesses to reduce their energy use by 10% in 2010 hence the 10:10. Regular customers know that Instanta was amongst the first business of this type to establish a real environmental management system and we were accredited with the prestigious ISO 140001 by BSI as long ago as 2004. As a result it might be quite difficult for Instanta to achieve yet another 10% saving but we will be encouraging our customers to do so by implementing even more energy saving ideas in our new product range to be launched at Hotelympia in February 2010.



On a personal note, Marion and I intend to change all our spotlights for those made by our electronics supplier John Walkinshaw's company LED lighting solutions. I have mentioned these on the blog before but their energy saving potential is phenomenal. The product is the first true replacement for MR16 lamps, it uses LED technology to provide the same brightness as a normal lamp and yet uses only 7 watts of power compared to 50 watts for a normal lamp. It contains no harmful products unlike fluorescent lamps and emits a warm natural light for domestic use. In addition, the gas guzzling Mercedes is going back next week to be replaced by the Toyota Prius although unfortunately demand is such that we can't get one until January. (Thanks to my mum for loaning her car to put us on).



Marion and I had a month of not drinking wine in an attempt to lose weight. The month ended last night and I baked us a pizza to celebrate and cracked open a nice bottle of Californian Merlot brought by my mum. Amazingly this is the bottle this morning with almost half its contents still intact.If I had shown you that a month ago you would have asked me where the other empty bottle was. But do you know? We just couldn't be bothered. We're not going to come over all preachy and teetotal but we've realised that alcohol is no big deal.



Orange Wednesday tomorrow and this week we're off to see the new Final Destination in 3D. I know, I know it's not exactly high brow but it should be a bit of a laugh after a busy week of year end accounts and some escapism won't go amiss.


Things are steaming ahead with Paul and Josephine's wedding. They have now set up a website. It's really sweet. You will soon be able to check it out and I'll put a link on the blog.




And speaking of true love, did you see ITV's adaptation of Wuthering Heights last night? I thought it was great although I bet there wasn't a single person over 40 who didn't at some point hear Kate Bush singing in their head.