I Managed To Catch Up

After the hectic week of reading hundreds of applications for the new Southern Area Sales Manager job, I have finally reached the bottom of the pile and created a shortlist of candidates. It's been a really interesting process as we are looking for someone who can sell and not simply someone who knows the catering industry (which seems to be the norm within the industry and has led to it becoming the incestuous place that it is). As a result, I have read through a diverse range of candidates cvs and have been impressed by the high standard. As they live all over the place I have asked the chosen few to give me a ring for an informal telephone interview after which I will be whittling the list down further.



Things are going well even without the new sales manager and orders are at a good level for this time of the year. The WA5N (above) is a particularly good seller but I am hoping that our new sales person will be able to show the customers the huge benefits offered by the more upmarket WM series and CT series boilers which include seven day programmable timers, built in filter monitors and easy to read service diagnostics.



The online diet has prescribed beans on toast with cheese for lunch today. I could make this here in the canteen but Marion is at home and I'm going to pop back and share it with her when I go to pay into the bank. It's the four week weigh in tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed I should have lost my first stone.



Dave Horrocks from our sheet metal department popped his head into my office this morning and told me that he had dreamt last night that he and I were playing scrabble and that I was making weird and peculiar words with my tiles. Now Dave, I am extremely flattered to think that I figured in your dreams but not so happy that I appeared in them as a cheat!


Remember the young drummer boy who came third in Britain's Got Talent last week. Call that drumming? Now this is drumming. Have a good weekend.

So Much To Do So Little Time To Do It In

I thought that, having sold the business on 8th January, despite my agreeing to work this year for our new owners, I might find myself with time on my hands as the transitional period ran on. But nothing could be further from the truth and I have found myself very busy (not, I hasten to add, from pressure from my new bosses). At the moment it's helping Nick to find his new Southern Area Sales Manager. We booked the advert for two weeks but just one week on we are approaching 150 applications and, in fairness to the applicants, I can't just ignore them. It has meant that some good people might be rejected but, with so many to look at, an application that catches the attention is going to be one that gets ahead. This process has resulted in this being only my second blog this week but I do aim to get back to daily blogs soon. I plan to phone some of the best applicants today and tomorrow and invite some of them to interview.

Regular readers know that Marion and I love nothing better than to take a trip to the cinema on a Wednesday and take advantage of the Orange Wednesday offer. Having been given a pile of vouchers for Christmas we are able to sit in the VIP seats and stretch our legs. But we have not been for a couple of weeks now as there is absolutely nothing that we want to see on at our local Vue. So last night we stayed in and watched "Body Of Lies" on the Sky plus Anytime. We don't remember this coming to the cinema (perhaps we were on holiday) so it was totally new to us. Although a little too convincing on the violence(which included a terrorist taking a hammer to Leo's fingers)for squeamish me, it was a decent film and we both enjoyed it.



There are so many of these flags flying locally you would think we were in the midst of some sort of nationalist rally. But it's all to do with football and the world cup, which, I hear, starts tomorrow. Maybe I'll get into it. I have been a football fan for over forty four years and still have my season ticket at Liverpool but I would struggle to name all of the England squad from photos and just can't work up the enthusiasm. Just shows what a year of watching Rafa's dismal reds can do for you. Here at Instanta the lads in the factory are going to miss lunch on Wednesday and work an extra hour in the evening so that those who want to can watch England's second game in the canteen. I'm so excited that I think I will stay in the office and man the phones.



Another problem with having a heavy workload is that it is easier to overlook things and I must apologise to our head of sheet metal work Kevin Marshall who celebrated his 39th birthday on Tuesday. Kevin is on his second stint at Instanta having taken a few years off in the 90's to experience life in the Royal Navy but we were happy to welcome him back in 1999 and he is now into his twelfth year back with us. Last year saw the birth of Kevin and his partner Nicky's lovely daughter Sophie so it has been a very busy year for him on the home front.Kevin stepped into the breach for us when the head of metal work position became vacant unexpectedly and he has done a great job as any of you who inspect the metalwork in our boilers will testify. So, belated birthday wishes to Kevin from all of us here.After the end of the next football season I wonder whether it will be him or me who supports a "small club".

Oh well I better get back to work. I've got to go shopping at lunchtime for the diet stuff and then I have to go and pick up some clothes that have been altered and some curtains that have been repaired (after a builder's accident)and there's a big pile of ironing to do tonight. I told you life was hectic.I'll finish with an appropriate video.

I'll Hang Up My Tipster Hat

In my last blog I said that our money was on the dog to win Britain's Got Talent but as soon as Tina and Chandi started to perform on Saturday it was obvious that they would not be taking home the £100,000 prize. They just didn't have the same appeal and the routine was much worse than their semi final performance which led me to my tip. Fortunately I also had a bet on Spellbound which won me a princely £31.50 and, equally fortunately, the impressionist, on whom I had £150 liability, did not win. It's fun watching these live shows with the laptop logged onto Betfair. Throughout the programme on Saturday the odds on the singing Grannie from Scotland were shortening as piles of money backed her and she fell to under 5-1 leading me to wonder if someone knew that her act was going to be a show stopper. Fortunately I didn't fall for the trap of leaping onto the bandwagon as, before she stopped singing, her odds had fallen to 100-1.





I had a rare day off work yesterday and went up to Yorkshire with my brother for a spot of metal detecting. We had researched a new site and were delighted to be given permission by our friendly farmer to search it. We climbed an enormous hill (no fun when you need a hip replacement) to get to the field only to find it full of cows. Metal detecting in a field full of cows is no fun so we had to revert to plan b and search fields that we have gone over time and again in the past. But it goes to show that you can never empty a field completely and I found a Girl Guide Badge, an 18th Century livery button, an interesting and probably Victorian decorated fitting (probably for a book) and this copper alloy lion. I have no idea what the lion used to adorn but he was once gilded and will have looked quite impressive. I guess that he is from the 19th century but would love to know what he was used for. Any ideas?



Three weeks into the diet tomorrow and tonight is a highlight as we are having spaghetti bolognese. From this, my first experience of dieting, it seems that diets are really a matter of self discipline.It is so tempting to add another 5 grammes when you weigh out your 25 grammes of nuts or raisins but no, back into the packet they go. Last night's evening meal of one fishcake and some salad leaves left us a bit hungry for the first time but it's still so far so good and we are both losing some weight.



Here at Instanta, I have carried on with the task of helping Nick to vet the applications that have been flooding in via www.jobsite.co.uk for the position of our new Southern Area Sales Manager. Applications have exceeded a hundred now and, whilst it is not very green, we have printed every one out in full so that we can give them proper consideration. The standard looks to be high although I am leaning towards those who have actually checked out Instanta and decided that they want to work for us rather than those who appear to have sent off their CV without tailoring it to us. We have written to all those we have rejected as there is nothing worse than not knowing and we have asked about thirty more to tell us why they really want this particular job. Some applications are very good but let themselves down with poor English (incite instead of insight was a classic and a letter with I as i from start to finish)but I am not going to reject these as we are looking for a sales person not an English teacher.

I got my Liverpool Season Ticket renewal this morning. They are offering an incredible £52 discount for renewing online. Not sure that it costs them £52 to process an application over the phone but I will be happy to take whatever they offer. Speaking of football, World Cup fever is officially upon us. Now I like James Corden who did a good job of hosting Paul's show "A League Of Their Own" but I'm not sure about the lyrics to his new World Cup song which include the yobbish "Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough". What do you think?

We're Rooting For The Dog

Having wasted several hours this week watching Britain's Got Talent with the aim of having an enjoyable flutter, it all comes to a head this weekend with the grand final. At the moment the acrobat troupe Spellbound are hot favourites at 2-1 but I have a sneaky feeling that Tina and Chandi (the lady and her dancing dog) might just steal it (remember that Subo was favourite last year but was wiped out by Diversity)and at 10-1 on Betfair the dog lady represents very good value. Britain is dog mad and the dog is extremely cute (and can actually perform) so expect dog lovers in their thousands to start dialling as soon as the lines open. I will win a few pounds if either win but the impressionist will set me back badly.



I am delighted that the new WA5N is selling very well with boilers leaving the factory almost as quickly as we can make them. I wish that the customers would notice that we now have two more models in this range and start taking the WA10N and WA2N but as always, it takes a long time for the message to get across whenever we bring out a new range. Most customers have the new brochure, all they have to do now is read it.



I went on Google images and googled "Benitez" for the following comment on my football team. When Elsa Benitez turned up on the first line I felt that she would brighten the blog a lot more than any picture of Rafa. Anyway, what can I say about Rafa. He won us two cups (both on penalties after coming back from behind), he bought our most talented player for years in Torres and our best goalkeeper in Reina, we played some decent attacking football in 2008-2009. Apart from that he alienated the brilliant Xabi Alonso, insisted on playing the boring and negative Lucas week in week out, managed to turn Dirk Kuyt from a prolific goalscorer into a midfielder, Ryan Babel from centre forward to winger and bought enough duff players to fill two second division teams (and most of them wouldn't get a game in the second division). So Rafa, I know that the fans loved you for Istanbul but, let's face it, you were a bit lucky there weren't you and I,for one, won't be saddened by your departure. Adios.

Weekend beckons. I wonder what to do. I haven't had much exercise lately due to my bad hip but I don't think I'll be following Taig Khris. Jumping off the Eiffel tower for kicks is not my idea of fun.

Sick As A Parrot

I've been watching Britain's Got Talent this week. Well, not really watching rather reading the newspaper with it on in the background and the laptop in front of me. When this bloke , Paul Burling, came on last night, he was described as an impressionist so I glanced up to watch his act. Apart from Harry Hill, I had no idea who any of his impressions were of so I laid him (bet against him)£10 to win the competition at odds of 15-1 (leaving me with a potential liability of £140).I was confident that he would lose and we would never see him again so thought it was £10 for nothing. Imagine my surprise when I tuned in later to see that not only was he still in the competition but he had WON his semi final.I can't see him winning the final so I am not that worried about the £140 but if an act like this can get to the final my comment on the show the other day becomes even more valid. Come on ITV and be realistic if you bring this back next year "Britain's Got No Talent" would make a better title.



And talking about being as sick as a parrot, did you read about the drunken parrots in Australia. I am indebted to the Independent's website for the following:-"In Australia's northernmost city it is not the people who are behaving like drunks, but the native parrots, which are falling out of the sky. Darwin's red-collared lorrikeets are suffering from a puzzling condition, with symptoms strikingly similar to those that accompany inebriation. Hundreds have been treated in animal hospitals, where they are fed sweetened porridge and fresh fruit – the avian equivalent of a hangover cure.In recent weeks the brightly coloured birds have been observed falling out of trees, stumbling around the streets and crash-landing when they attempt to fly. Those recovering in hospital are said to be dishevelled, disoriented and grumpy. Above all, they seem to shun bright lights and to experience an overwhelming desire for a good lie-down." The Aussie vets have not got to the cause of the problem yet but eating fermenting fruit seems to be high on the list of possibilities.



There's very little chance of Marion and me getting drunk in view of the diet that we are on at the moment although we are eating plenty of (not fermented)fruit. Three weeks into the diet and my record reports that we have each had three units of alcohol in total. Only about three months to go to reach the target. We seem to be doing OK but I won't be telling you about our progress until we have concrete figures to report.We are having a small party in a couple of weeks and the diet will have to be suspended for a day.



I just went onto the Liverpool FC website to read the latest news about Rafa Benitez. The press is full of reports that he has been offered £3m to leave. But the Liverpool site? Nothing, nada, silence. I had a quick look at how much the season ticket is going to be next year but, surprise ,surprise they haven't decided yet. Maybe they're waiting to see how much it costs to get rid of Rafa and we mugs will have to pay for it. I, for one, won't lose any sleep if Rafa goes. Last season was the worst I can remember with us playing the most boring football ever.

It's complicated

I was almost tearing my hair out in desperation this morning as I did the payroll. Why should something that I have done week in, week out for twenty years, take me over four hours to complete when it usually takes half an hour? We decided to change to monthly pay during this tax year after fifty three years of weekly pay. In order to make this transition smoothly (roll on 1st August), I have been running a dummy weekly payroll and paying these sums into the staff's bank account. But, at the same time I have been running the real monthly payroll in order to ensure that there are no complications on 1st August. Problem is that some people have regular weekly deductions from their pay (which is fine if they are the same every week)and these have given me real headaches in calculating their monthly equivalents when they have changed the sums during the month. I felt like screaming at around noon. But an hour later armed with a multi columned spreadsheet I had cracked it. I dread to think how long it will take the accountants to work out what I have done.


I am pleased to welcome Danny Rimmer to Instanta this week. We finished last month with an unprecedented number of outstanding orders (none overdue I hasten to add)and Dave felt it was time to beef up the numbers on the shop floor. As always we looked to the lads to come up with suggestions and our machine shop worker Steve Eyres was pleased to introduce his cousin Danny. Danny lives locally and is a keen angler and motocross enthusiast. We hope that he enjoys being part of the Instanta team.


The job applications keep flooding in from the Jobsite website. I've written to a few of the better applicants and asked them why they want to work for Instanta. I've had some very positive responses but some of them look as if they have simply cut and pasted generic comments and I wonder if they have taken the time to look at what we actually do.





Watching ITV's weeklong light entertainment fest that is Britain's Got Talent the last couple of nights raised the question "Has it?" This is the first time that we have seen the show this series and, as the thousands of entries have now been whittled down to just forty, we expected that these would show a pretty high level of quality. We were wrong. Apart from a brilliant dancing dog and some talented acrobats, the acts on Monday and Tuesday were universally bad.So bad that I wouldn't expect them to get through onto the stage at the summer talent shows that we have here in Southport.I'm watching the shows as I thought it might be a good opportunity to have a flutter but so far, dog and acrobats apart, the only way you could bet on any of the acts is for them to lose.

If you don't believe me, take a look at this.

Third Year On The Blog

It shows that my blog has been running for some time when one of our staff appears celebrating a birthday for the third time. Many happy returns for yesterday go to our popular and hard working store man Peter Barlow. Peter, who has struggled into work today despite an extremely heavy cold (he's a conscientious bloke), is now 49 and he has worked for Instanta for over thirteen of those years. Those of you who know Peter will know that he eats, sleeps and breathes football (or more particularly Manchester United). He was a very good player in his time but sadly, like me, his days of kicking a ball around are now gone and he has recently taken up golf. Peter is very much a family man and devoted dad and he tells me that his daughter Heidi has become fully qualified as a dance teacher this year and his son Alex has completed a sports qualification. I know that everyone at Instanta will join me in offering Peter our belated birthday wishes.



The power of TV advertising was thoroughly demonstrated when we put our vacant new Southern Area Sales Manager post on the Internet on that site that you see being advertised by the bloke who was in "Survivors". We have been trying to find the right person by a number of means, word of mouth (not so successful), this blog (nothing at all), recruitment agencies (some success but very expensive), another job site that does not advertise on TV (four, very poor, responses) but when we put the job on www.jobsite.co.uk Nick's email inbox almost crashed with the number of applications. Here is Craig sorting a few of them into some semblance of order before we plough through them and see if we can find our missing link.


If you're late paying your tax bills you can be sure that the Inland Revnue will let you know pretty soon (so people tell me). We paid our Corporation Tax today bang on time and have paid the PAYE promptly every month for years. So when it turned our that me and Marion were due a small tax refund this year I expected it in our bank account pretty quickly and didn't bother transferring money in from our savings to cover the credit card bill. Bad move. No sign of the tax refund five days after the accountant said that we should have it.Oh well at least we have an overdraft facility.

What a great Eurovision this year. It was so good that I immediately went online and downloaded the songs. I loved the German entry and said to Marion straight away that I thought it would be a winner. I put my money where my mouth was and won £31 (I wasn't risking a fortune.The vagaries of the weird Eurovision habit of voting for your neighbours makes that too much of a gamble). If a little bit of the joyful flash mob dance that ended the show could rub off around Europe, perhaps we can finally lift ourselves out of the gloom that the financial forecasters (for forecasters read speculators) are delighting in wallowing in. If you didn't see it, here it is.