I blame it on UK TV Gold and their constant reruns of "The Good Life". But is that and the advent of the credit crunch any excuse to go all Felicity Kendall and start keeping chickens in the back garden? I don't think so. We live in suburbia. A sort of Southport equivalent of Wisteria Lane and I can tell you of at least one housewife who is starting to get desperate. It started a month or so ago with a muffled "cock a doodle do". Marion and I shared a puzzled glance but thought little more of it. However, since then, Bertie Rooster has grown louder by the day and is now a veritable cock of the north and I am waking up at the crack of dawn (cue smutty student rag mag joke c1972)to a cacophony of farmyard noises. For goodness sake. This is a Southport suburb with hundreds of houses to the square mile not the bloody countryside. When we want to be woken at some ungodly hour we'll use an alarm clock. We've got an alarm cock. At the moment dawn is somewhere around 6.30 but soon it'll be 4. If I could only find out where the beast lives it would be coq au vin all round. To think that some idiot could be so inconsiderate as to keep an entire neighbourhood awake for the sake of a few free eggs. It's beyond a joke.
Marion read yesterday that optimists live on average 16 years longer than pessimists. I'm going to be on my own for quite a long time.
It's the first working day of the month so it's a day of figures and statistics. The optimist will spin the stats and say that turnover was up on last January by 1.7%. The pessimist will point out that if we take some exceptional items into consideration, sales were down by 4.5%. However, considering that we were down in one sector by 18%, the net result whether you are a pessimist or an optimist is pretty encouraging (that's the optimist in me coming out). I'm not sure how we should interpret the figures but having studied the last quarter CESASTATS I think we're holding our head up. The bank manager is coming tomorrow to introduce us to our Area Director. Hope he's sympathetic.
I found this good little art pottery bowl at a local antiques fair yesterday and thought it a nice buy for three quid. It might just be by one of the famous St Ives potters Bernard Leach or Shoji Hamada (that's the optimist speaking). Marion says it's probably not.
I enjoyed the trip to Anfield yesterday. I took sales manager Peter Brindle along with me and I was delighted that we won. OK the ref sent someone off by mistake but even before then Chelsea didn't have a shot on goal and I thought our victory was well deserved. If only we could have had a few more games scraping a one goal win instead of a draw we would be streets ahead at the top of the league. And talking of top of the league I see that Nick's position in our Guardian Pick the Scores League is starting to look under pressure. He's still clear of the field but three players are breathing down his neck.
I'd better start preparing for the bank manager's visit. On Friday we had a visit from a really great bloke who I can't name for reasons of client confidentiality. However he arrived later than expected so we had already eaten our Friday bacon butties but we had got one for him and immediately forced it upon him on his arrival. Out of politeness the poor customer gingerly ate the now cold and greasy offering before pointing out that he was an insulin dependent diabetic. We had managed to mess up his completely balanced diet. Thanks for suffering for Instanta P. You should have claimed to be Jewish.
I'm getting into the Dancing on Ice on the telly and am enoying a few small wagers on Betfair. However, having laid Todd Carty for £100 on the basis that he can't skate and he can't dance, I'm starting to get a bit worried. Just what do the public see in him? Ok last week was funny but this week was just plain embarassing. Enjoyed Harry Hill's take on Wk2
Marion read yesterday that optimists live on average 16 years longer than pessimists. I'm going to be on my own for quite a long time.
It's the first working day of the month so it's a day of figures and statistics. The optimist will spin the stats and say that turnover was up on last January by 1.7%. The pessimist will point out that if we take some exceptional items into consideration, sales were down by 4.5%. However, considering that we were down in one sector by 18%, the net result whether you are a pessimist or an optimist is pretty encouraging (that's the optimist in me coming out). I'm not sure how we should interpret the figures but having studied the last quarter CESASTATS I think we're holding our head up. The bank manager is coming tomorrow to introduce us to our Area Director. Hope he's sympathetic.
I found this good little art pottery bowl at a local antiques fair yesterday and thought it a nice buy for three quid. It might just be by one of the famous St Ives potters Bernard Leach or Shoji Hamada (that's the optimist speaking). Marion says it's probably not.
I enjoyed the trip to Anfield yesterday. I took sales manager Peter Brindle along with me and I was delighted that we won. OK the ref sent someone off by mistake but even before then Chelsea didn't have a shot on goal and I thought our victory was well deserved. If only we could have had a few more games scraping a one goal win instead of a draw we would be streets ahead at the top of the league. And talking of top of the league I see that Nick's position in our Guardian Pick the Scores League is starting to look under pressure. He's still clear of the field but three players are breathing down his neck.
I'd better start preparing for the bank manager's visit. On Friday we had a visit from a really great bloke who I can't name for reasons of client confidentiality. However he arrived later than expected so we had already eaten our Friday bacon butties but we had got one for him and immediately forced it upon him on his arrival. Out of politeness the poor customer gingerly ate the now cold and greasy offering before pointing out that he was an insulin dependent diabetic. We had managed to mess up his completely balanced diet. Thanks for suffering for Instanta P. You should have claimed to be Jewish.
I'm getting into the Dancing on Ice on the telly and am enoying a few small wagers on Betfair. However, having laid Todd Carty for £100 on the basis that he can't skate and he can't dance, I'm starting to get a bit worried. Just what do the public see in him? Ok last week was funny but this week was just plain embarassing. Enjoyed Harry Hill's take on Wk2
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