It's a hive of activity in the factory today as five of the lads have come in to help us to get a big order out on time. It's going well and we should get about forty special boilers for Rampton hospital on their way tonight with another twenty six to follow shortly.
Thanks go to Amanda Sweeney of City Servicing for sending me an invitation to join Google Wave. I'm not too familiar with this new development from Google but I hope to find out more later when I have the time to have a good look at it.I will let you know.
Good to see my X Factor favourite Joe still going strong in the show. I singled him out on this blog on the Monday after his first audition performance and I've not seen anything to suggest that he won't win. He has to be the only contestant in the history of the show who has not hit a single bad note in any performance. I have a vested interest (£130) in Joe winning as I put my money where my mouth is. Reading the forums on Digital Spy, he doesn't seem as popular but I'm sticking with him for at least another week but might chicken out and lay some of the bet when it comes to the final.
Good to see Dirk Kuyt sealing Liverpool's win in yesterday's local derby.It wasn't Liverpool's best performance but a 2-0 away win is always welcome. I felt that Everton had a bit of bad luck but having seen Liverpool against, Sunderland, Manchester City and Birmingham City recently I think that nobody can argue that it wasn't time that a bit of good luck went Liverpool's way.
I can't believe that it's less than two weeks before we go to the annual Instanta Christmas do. It has usually been a demure affair with a Christmas eve lunch at a local pub or restaurant but because Christmas falls on a Friday this year it wasn't right and we've gone for a big night out at Southport's Floral Hall where we will be entertained by Abba tribute band Abba fever. As the blokes have thier backs to the camera in their publicity photos I guess that they look nothing like Benny and Bjorn.
Here's a taster for those who can't make it to the party.
Our office manager Jenny has persuaded me to give email invoicing a try. Yes I know it's green and I know it's fast and I know it's economical and it works OK with suppliers that we buy from but. There's such a but in my mind with email. Ever since our son almost missed out on the job that launched his career when an email submission failed to arrive, I've been extremely wary of email for important stuff. We'll give it a try because I trust Jenny's judgment but if we are inundated with non-payers in a month or two amidst pleas of "we didn't get the invoice" it will be back to the paper and post.
Another Instanta boiler appeared on Raymond Blanc's show "The Restaurant" on BBC last night. The producer used it to mirror one of the contestants and our 1500 model got a good minute or so of free advertising.Would have been better if they had kept it clean. The contestants on this year's show seem to have everything necessary to run a successful restaurant apart from the ability to cook and it's going to end in tears. There is no way that any of these are going to be opening a restaurant. The highlight of the night was the cake made by one of them for a customer who wanted a cake in the shape of an aeroplane.I've been looking everywhere for a photo to no avail. Suffice to say it was hilarious.
Paranormal Activity at the cinema last night was OK. Not too scary but not bad either. It was a real eye opener for us to go to a full price showing as we are so used to Orange Wednesday. It's not the price I'm talking about, it's the audience. There were no more than six customers sharing the screening with us compared to a packed house on Wednesdays.
A big order for the DB2000 boilers is due to go out today or on Monday. We are sending sixty six of these to Rampton hospital. The electronic locks on these boilers are ideal for this high security establishment and help prevent the patients from scalding themselves.
As it's Friday it's time to start thinking about tomorrow night's X Factor. I still think my favourite Joe is going to win.So I'll close with some music.I hope Joe performs a bit better than this.
It was one of our bowling nights at the local bowl last night.Pictured above are overall individual score winner Kirk Harrison (centre),runner up Gavin Ford (left) and third placed Gary Rodwell (right). Kirk had a huge run of strikes in game one but his consistency suffered in game two and left him an overall score of 289 for the two games.
And these are all winners too as the team captained by Max Vidal (left) won the overall team contest with a total of 1187 over two games. Pictured with Max are, left to right, Lee Moore, Kirk Harrison,Gary Rodwell and Craig Buckley who was also the overall winner of game two with a score of 144.
This is where the everyone's a winner theme starts to get a litte tenuous. My team had an individual winner in Craig Mercer who beat the rest of us. Here he is (not quite Victor Ludorum this time Craig)pictured centre with, from left to right, Joey Jones, Phil Joce, Nick Neal and me.
David Boutle was highest scorer in this team with 242 points. Here he is (in striped shirt) with (left to right) Steve Eyres, Andy Fyles, Jenny Buckley and Dave Wilson.
Gavin Ford, left was the highest scorer in this team with a total of 280 points. Gav is picture with his mum Margaret, Sean Johnson, Tony Mercer and Natalie Drummond. A good night was had by all and there was so much food that we didn't eat it all (it usually looks like the buffet has been attacked by a plague of locusts).
After my total memory failure the other day, we have decided to make tonight our weekly cinema trip. We'll miss out on the Orange two for one offer but at least we'll get to the pictures. I somehow doubt that the film will live up to the hype but what the heck, it looks like a bit of fun.
I'll close with a bowling shot to make our players feel a bit better about themselves.
On yesterday's blog I was going on about our regular Wednesday trip to the pictures but someone reminded me that tonight is our bowling night so we won't be going. I really must buy myself one of those personal organiser things or a diary perhaps. At the moment I have to rely on Marion and she's not always here.I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on.Oh well, maybe we'll get to the pictures next week. I've no idea if I'll be able to play at the bowling as, being in need of a hip replacement, I'm not exactly supple at the moment.
Craig Mercer tells me he's determined to add Ten Pin Bowling to his Victor Ludorum title. I mentioned it to him and he said "Yes I want to be that Victor bloke. But who is he?". He wants to be the top scorer in the individual and team games and asked if I will erect a statue of him in the car park if he wins.
My novel has been posted on Harper Collins' authonomy website for a month or so now. It has risen to number 350 in the rankings but seems to be sticking around there now. I'm not prepared to get involved in the frantic emailing of other members for support in order to try and get it to rise higher so it will probably start sinking soon. I've enjoyed the experience but it is time now for it to be either sent to prospective publishers or put to one side.
Here's something we Liverpool fans won't be looking forward to in May. There's nobody to blame but the team itself. We just weren't good enough and could quite easily have slipped up last night. Oh well, I'll have to check the small print in my season ticket. No doubt I will have signed up to watch us play half a dozen matches in the Europa league.
I'll finish today with Toshiba's attempt to get into the viral video marketing scene. They've got a long way to go before they get close to the experts Samsung. But it's a start.
Once a month I sit down with Tony and Gavin and we plan what we are going to make for the next month. We tweak this in our weekly production meetings but we generally get things just about right. So last week we planned our production and put in a fair few WM15SS boilers (pictured). Today an order comes in for all bar seven of them. Oh well, it's a nice problem to have, I'm not complaining.
Marion and I love Florence. Next to Venice it's one of our very favourite places. But not tonight. Because tonight the Florentines of Fiorentina have Liverpool's destiny in their hands. If they beat Lyon, Liverpool are out of the Champions League in the first round for the first time in ages and I'll have to go and watch them in the Europa League (how exciting). I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope that Lyon do us a favour. Mind you there's also the small matter of Liverpool needing to beat Debrecini too. If the results do go Liverpool's way there's going to be one hell of a big game at Anfield in December.
It's that time of year when we have to look at our prices for next year. We've just been through a major recession and nobody is expecting increases but we are implementing some major upgrades to our boilers in February and some increases are inevitable on the new improved models. We'll do our best to keep them to a minimum. Fortunately Gavin has done some good deals with suppliers and we will benefit when they filter through.
Orange Wednesday tomorrow has to be Paranormal Activity. This is the film that cost $15,000 and has grossed over $100million already. It's a sort of Blair Witch scary movie. It probably won't live up to the hype but we'll give it a try.Marion likes a good fright.
And speaking of frights, I'll leave you with something found in an American sewer. Real or not? I'll let you decide.
Happy birthday greetings to Max Vidal.Max turns 42 today and has treated himself to a day off to go and play golf. But, looking at the weather, I think that he should have chosen to go sailing (in his garden). Max is the friendly voice on the end of our service helpline. He has been with us for thirteen years now and has spent the last couple of years in the office. We get plenty of customers complimenting us on the great service that Max has given them and we think those plaudits are well deserved. Have a good day Max and don't catch flu.
Having ignored Marion's sensible advice on my X Factor bets for the last few weeks when she has accurately forecast the act to go home, I listened to her this week. Danyl was sure to be in the bottom two she said. Sadly,she was wrong, for the first time, and I lost (as usual). My favourite Joe is still a very strong contender and I can see him winning the final in a couple of weeks' time.
Tonight Marion and I are going to Liverpool with our next door neighbour to see Bill Bailey's show. Our neighbour Vincent is a huge fan. We don't know Bill Bailey too well although we have seen a couple of his performances on TV and had a good laugh. We're having a meal at 60 Hope St before the show and that is always worth a trip to Liverpool.
After I reported him as Mr 98.8% on Friday, Dave Boutle spent the weekend protesting his innocence from the rooftops and, as a result, is now back to being Mr 99.4% with his eBay feedback. No doubt the endless phone calls will have cost him dearly but he is a proud man and a true seeker of justice. Now he has to get back to 100% after getting his only other negative from a customer that he refunded in full and allowed to keep the goods.
And speaking of justice. Here's the only Irishman in the world who isn't complaining that the Irish were robbed.
I got an email from sales director Nick (left above). It was a report on something called the Darwin Awards. These are a lists of people doing stupid things and the name is derived from those who are least evolved. This one is my favorite as it relates to the catering industry
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he too lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
Special mention in dispatches to Lee Moore.Lee has only been in the office for a few months after moving in here from the factory floor. He found himself thrown into the deep end this week as Craig (who normally handles the sales order processing) is on holiday. A holiday that coincided with a rush of over two hundred boilers being ordered in just a couple of days. Well done Lee for rising to the challenge.
Thanks to the vagaries of Sky Sports, Liverpool's match against Man City this weekend is being played at 12.45. Whatever happened to the days of 3pm kick offs? One good thing is that I'm going to take Marion with me and leave her to do some shopping in Liverpool while the match is on and then we can meet up for some tapas in La Vina later. So what am I moaning about? I don't know it's just obligatory to moan about Sky. Mind you I shouldn't moan as son Paul works in TV and just got some very good news from Sky so, here's to Sky. You're wonderful really.
And how this for a tenuous link to end the week? Speaking of sky.
You know what it's like. Your wireless broadband goes down and you are left panicking. For someone like me it's as if the intravenous drip has been yanked from my body and my wonderful world of eBay, Betfair, Authonomy and YouTube - my lifeblood - is slowly trickling away. So what do you do? Reboot the router. Reboot the laptop. Fiddle with everything for two blinkin hours and get absolutely nowhere. Seek discussion boards on the land line connection. Try their remedies and dig yourself deeper into a mess. Finally, in a last desperate measure you pick up the phone and dial BT's helpline. And who are you phoning? Someone in flippin Mumbai. And what's he going to do to help? Well er..... Five minutes later my wireless is up and running. I've had a very nice chat about the weather in India this week and my lifeblood has returned to my veins. So **** BT's Indian call centre. Four star service. Speedy answering, polite and knowledgeable technicians. I think I might try putting an Instanta service line out there. (Mind you Max is irreplaceable)
We went to see Harry Brown last night. It was quite good in a bit of an over the top sort of way. Michael Caine plays a Charles Bronson type vigilante figure in a dystopian vision of life on a London council estate. It's a bit simplistic in its messages but Michael is very good and the film has pretty good pace.There's quite a lot of hoodies around here. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of Harry's book and get myself a gun.
Our cinema has been fitted out with a few rows of fancy new seats. You can sit in these for a premium of £1.50. Now I think that Vue have got that price completely wrong. Who is going to sit in the fancy seats for £1.50. If they were charging £10 a seat then you would be talking. All the flash people would be clamouring to show off to the rest of the audience that they were considerably richer than everyone else. £1.50 doesn't quite cut it. Marion and I tried out the test seats in the foyer. Our verdict? Not as comfy as the cheap seats. It was quite funny watching the ushers trying to enforce the new seating which resulted in what looked like an impromptu game of musical chairs being carried out in the auditorium as all the cheap ticket holders took their rightful places in the plebs' area.
Gavin has just booked our trip to the local Ten Pin Bowl next week. We go once or twice a year and usually have a very good evening. Numbers are down a bit this time. Last year we had 28 players but several of last time's players can't make it. I suppose that will save me and Marion a few pounds but we will miss regular star players Craig Peach and Darren Rodwell who usually put in pretty impressive scores.
The Bowl is right alongside the pier. If we get chance we'll have a got at this when we finish (if the tide is in).
With only Lee and Max in the office this week, we have been rushed off our feet. Which is not a bad thing especially as every call and fax seems to be yet another order (don't tell Peter and Nick, we'll never hear the end of it). So that means that unimportant things like blogging have to take a back seat while the customers take priority. Anyway I've managed to find a few minutes before we go to our regular (not so regular recently) trip to the cinema for Orange Wednesday. This week its Harry Smith or something with Michael Caine. Better look it up. It's Harry Brown. Sounds a bit like Gran Torino with Michael playing the Clint role and London replacing Detroit. At least there were a few films to choose from this week.
Things are starting to move with plans for son Paul's marriage to Josephine moving apace. They are getting married on 13th Feb and the venue has now been booked, the menu has been chosen and in a few days they are planning to post out the invites. I think they've booked a photographer and some musicians too. So that's about it then.We're looking forward to it.
I got the latest draft of the new brochure from Jen at Workhouse today. It's all looking good. I'll take another day off work next week and work on it at home. It's the best place to do it. I get so much more done. We are well on target to launch the new brochure at Hotelympia next year.I'm going to write a newsletter soon to announce our new products and prices for 2010.
I popped out to the local auction house again at lunchtime today. This month there are hundreds of lots but not a lot worth bidding on. I managed to find just one item of interest in hundreds of lots. Better luck next month perhaps.
I'll finish with a viral that is a blatant plug for the tour by a group called Kasabian. I've never heard of them but it's an interesting video take on Guitar hero. Don't know who the footballers are - Kasabian I guess. What's the point? No idea but it will waste 2 minutes of your life.
I got a newsletter from one of our suppliers this morning. It's a bit like a blog but on paper instead of on the Internet. Anyway, a story caught my eye. The Managing Director was pictured presenting a "well merited 10 Year Service Award" at a recent presentation. I just wondered how the directors got together to decide that Steve Smith (not his real name) merited this award. "I see Steve's been here ten years now. Do you think he merits a 10 years' service award?" "I'd go as far as to say say it's well merited". So Steve well done for meriting your ten year award. Be interested to hear about the people who work for ten years who don't merit one.
Another thing caught my eye whilst glancing through the local paper "The Southport Visiter" (yes we know it's spelled wrongly) on Friday. It seems that the local Sally Army is going all weird this year and proudly announced they are holding a "Christmas Bizarre". That's a real change from the old stuffy image of the Army with the brass bands and Victorian uniforms. We'll have to go and check it out. I wonder what they'll have in store for us instead of the mince pies, tombola and carol singing.
It's so quiet in here today. The factory is closed on Mondays but, in addition this week we've got Jenny and Craig on holiday, so that means we are very thin on the ground in the office too. So please bear with us if we are bit slow answering the phone.
I wrote about the long firm fraud that we fell for the other week and how Marion turned into Miss Marple and investigated everything that had gone on and got the police involved almost instantly. As a result of Marion's vigilance the police were able to get to the warehouse that stored all the fraudulently obtained goods before the fraudsters could sell it(it was full so we weren't the only mugs)and today Steve Eyres from our assembly team has driven to Scotland to bring our stuff back. So, thanks to Jenny's intuition and Marion's investigative skills ,we have lost nothing (other than Steve's overtime and the cost of the fuel) and a number of other relieved suppliers will be getting their goods back. As for the fraudster? Lets hope that he gets his just deserts.
Not only is Marion an ace investigator, she should also be a tipster. Last night after my customary weekly football accumulator bet had lost, she told me to bet on Jamie and Lloyd to be in the last two on X Factor and then for Jamie to be eliminated. I did and won £44. So what are next week's lottery numbers love?
I stand to win £170 if Olly wins. And speaking of Olly winning. How did he get on when he appeared on Deal or No Deal?
I said yesterday that the world should be grateful for telly, email jokes and football. But I forgot to add that other important distraction - YouTube. And what's better than a YouTube video about football? I usually sign off the blog (another distraction that I forgot to mention) with a video but for a change I am starting with one today. This one's a cracker.
We could talk all day about it. I could see it being set as a topic for a university essay. Girls and football? The fairer sex? Should Rafa let Andriy Voronin wear his ponytail? The choices are endless. All I can say is sign her up for Liverpool. We could do with a bit of passion in the team.
As proof that my philosophy of honesty being the best policy is really true, I earned myself an unwarranted £22 this week. I put an accumulator bet on Betfair last weekend and took advantage of a special offer "If one side loses you get half your stake back". Imagine my surprise on Tuesday when £22 appeared in my Betfair account after two of my teams failed to win. I wrote to Betfair and suggested that they take the money back but they very kindly thanked me for my honesty and let me keep it. Mind you I'm not sure if I'll be popular with all the other punters who benefited from this glitch and were debited after I pointed out the mistake.
I'm off to Tesco to do the week's big shop when I've finished this. I hope that I don't have a repeat of last week. As I was loading the shopping onto the belt I was aware of something hitting my shins. I turned to see an old man flat out on the floor. I thought he was dead but as I knelt beside him I could hear that he was still breathing. He had somehow fallen backwards and fortunately my shins cushioned his head or else he would have cracked it on the rock hard floor. He lay unmoving for half an hour whilst he was being attended to by the first aiders and ambulance crew. In the meantime the lady on the checkout rang up my shopping. Life goes on. She and I both felt guilty but there was nothing that we could do to help.
I suppose that the highlight of the weekend will be X Factor. 15 million tuned in to last Sunday's elimination at one stage and that is an enormous viewing figure in today's multi channel digital age. It's a good show and, with the twins still in the running there's bound to be plenty more controversy this week. Tonight we'll be watching the final episode of "Collision". It's been good but the story strains credibility to the absolute limit. What are the odds on a car crash involving (in different cars) a paedophile, an illegal immigrant smuggler,a whistle blower, someone who wants to get rid of his mum-in-law (OK that one's quite plausible)and a pot smoker? Hmmm. And what are the odds on a service station having TWO Parry boilers? Beggars belief.Entertaining all the same.
Those unemployment figures out yesterday were bloody awful weren't they. I know that the government has given them the usual spin and emphasised that the rate of increase is slowing down but 20% youth unemployment? That's a nightmare. What hope for the kids with the pension age being pushed back all the time.
Well at least we should be thankful for one thing. Well not just one thing, three things. Football, telly and emailed jokes. Why? Well if Instanta alone is taken into consideration I reckon that there must be at least one working day per day taken up with that stuff. We're always nattering about football and TV and the same goes for the factory. As for emailed jokes, fortunately our office staff only read them in their own time but just imagine if they read them while they should be working! That would be another half a man day. So praise to the trinity of football, TV and emailed jokes. Without them the unemployment figures would be so much worse and we'd be in a total slump.
And speaking of emailed jokes. They're usually rubbish aren't they? But here's one that Max sent me yesterday that's actually quite funny. I first heard it about forty years ago but it goes to show that the old ones are the best.
A young man, having split from his latest girlfriend, decides to take a holiday. He books himself on a cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life.That is, until the ship sinks.
He finds himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing but bananas and coconuts. After some time, whilst he is lying on the beach one day half starved, the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.
In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.'
'Amazing,' he cries 'You were really lucky to have a rowing boat wash up with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.'
'But where did you get the tools?'
'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.'
The guy is stunned.
'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf.
As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow.
While the woman ties up the rowing boat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?'
'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.'
'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?'
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable... Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.'
No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom.. There, in the cabinet,is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.
'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for quite some time.... you've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes ...
He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.....
'Bloody hell" he says "don't tell me you've got Sky Sports too?"
And here's another time waster sent to me by email. Look carefully at this still picture. Isn't that movement weird?
I'll leave you with a new sport. I can see this making great TV for us all to talk about.
When the kids were small they absolutely loved this fabulous picture book written by Michael Rosen and illustrated by Quentin Blake. It had the perfect absurd words to encourage the children to read and to make them laugh. So along with mustard in the custard, there were ants in your pants and confetti in the spaghetti. Max Vidal here came up with an even better one recently when he decided to experiment with a bit of home cuisine - Don't put chilli on your willy - Max learned this the hard way as, when he finished preparing his exotic dish using the very finest Scotch bonnet chillis, nature called and he needed to pee. Unbeknown to Max, some of the chilli's properties were still on his fingers and, as he emptied his bladder he did the exact opposite of relieving himself and was soon leaping around the house doing an impression of a Cherokee war dance.Fortunately the solution was close at hand in the shape of a long soak in an ice cold bath with a very red................face.
It's my dear son Paul's wedding in a few months and I was contacted by one of his friends yesterday asking if I wanted to come on the stag party that he was organising. I replied to the effect that I would come as long as there was no dressing up and no strippers. I also suggested that some of his friends who are girls could come along. I'm looking forward to it. I know that if the old Crystal Maze was still open in Blackpool we'd have been sorted.
I've been working at home again today and writing the new brochure. It's great. I get to admire all Marion's hard work in the garden and manage to get a lot more work done than I do at er work.There are twenty four pages in the new brochure and I've finished about eighteen so we are well on track to meet our deadlines.There's at least six new models plus loads of upgrades so it's been quite good writing about something new.Blimey there's the spectre of a bloke wearing glasses with a camera in our garden. Spooky or what?
Oh well. All good things come to an end. Marion just phoned to say that she has finished the October figures (that will wipe the smile off my face). So I better get back to work and do the accounts. With no Orange Wednesday tonight we're off to our favourite Warehouse Brasserie for the early bird menu. Which means we'll be back in time to watch that car crash TV. No I don't mean "An Audience With Donny And Marie" it's "Collision" on ITV at nine every night this week.Quite good so far even though the service station cafe unrealistically had two Parry boilers when everyone knows that all good service station cafes have Instanta.
