It's 4%

I have just passed on to the workforce the news of the annual pay increase. We have managed to find 4%. I feel that in view of the current economic climate this is a reasonable figure and it seemed to be fairly well received. All we have to do now is find some way of paying for it. We will do our very best to keep prices fair and hope to make savings through increased productivity.It's all a bit scary isn't it with even the great M & S recording a downturn? I am delighted to say that we sold 19% more units in September this year than we did last September but with turnover only 14% up it is a clear sign that the sales are shifting towards the cheaper end of the range. Nice to report an increase though. Let's hope it's not just a flash in the pan.

I won't repeat the obvious pun on Joe Kinnear's name as it has been done to death now but I really wonder if Newcastle's board can put their fans through any more misery. The warnings came when Joe failed to reveal during his interview that he actually had an outstanding touchline ban and would have to spend two of his games in charge sitting in the stands (he was a temporary appointment so that could be half his games). He then swore on live TV



And now he has subjected the press to a tirade of foul mouthed obscenities in his first official press conference. I can't complain, I laid Joe on Betfair for the job and now stand to win a reasonable sum if he doesn't get it. If you are broad minded and want to know exactly what Kinnear said click here. What a joke.




We watched "Beautiful People" on BBC2 last night and I thought it was really good. It tells the true story of a young man (Simon Doonan) growing up in Reading and it was funny and sympathetic. In one scene Simon wins the class essay competition for an essay titled "My Family". His proud parents ask for a reading and are taken aback to hear the truth about themselves. I had a near identical experience when I was a kid. My essay was also called "My family" and my mum too was quite taken aback by lines such as "My Mum wears a shabby faded yellow dressing gown" and she never forgave me for (fairly honestly) describing our diet. "For tea we eat mince. Mince and chips, shepherds pie, cottage pie, spaghetti with mince,chilli con carne. On Sunday's we are posh and have boiled potatoes and vegetables - with mince".Ok mum there was a bit of poetic licence I do remember sausages a few times.

The hairdressers in " Beautiful People" had a funny punning name. Sadly I can't remember what it was but what is it about hairdressers that compels them to name their shops like this? I mean you don't find butchers called "The Duke of Pork" or fishmongers called "Harry's Plaice" but look at your local yellow pages for hairdressers and its like a script for Jimmy Tarbuck. "Curling You Softly" "Ali Barber" "British Hairways" "Curl Up And Die","Grateful Head" "Scissors Palace" the list goes on. Marion's is called Christopher Maerevoet but I haven't worked that one out yet.