Mum. An apology.

I haven't heard much from my mum lately. Hope I didn't upset her about the mince. In truth we dined on quails in aspic served by the butler on a silver salver before the chauffeur took us to school in the Roller. But what's wrong with mince anyway? This morning I received a wonderful surprise from Waverley Books in the form of Rene La Sagne's brilliant new book.

The book proves that mum was years ahead of her time and I am sure that before long La Sagne's name will be up there with Jamie Oliver,Gordon Ramsay and Heston Blumenthal in the league of celebrity chefs. It is rare to find a chef who mixes the wisdom of Confucius with the culinary nous of Rab C Nesbitt or should that be the other way round? Apart from the recipes which are truly mince magic, the book overflows with useful dining tips. "Manners At Table. If you have brought your own supply of spirits or wine to supplement the expensive choice from the wine list, keep this under the table, and take care to add to your glass without other guests seeing. This is best done by pointing away from the table and saying "For pity's sake look at that!!" and everyone turns round- this gives you ample opportunity to refresh your glass unobserved. However, do this too often and you may become "the boy who cried Wine!"" Thank you Waverley for brightening my day.




Which reminds me of the time that we were invited to The Liverpool University Lawyers Ball at the Adelphi Hotel. Our friend David Wareing was approaching the end of his three year degree course and here was our first foray into the grown up world of Black Tie and Evening Gown. At the time, the Adelphi allowed you to bring your own wine subject to payment of a "corkage" charge but, as this was almost as much as the (very expensive) wine, corkage avoidance was the theme of the evening. Many of the impoverished students arrived with unusual bulges in their tuxedos and could then be seen straining under the table as they struggled to extract the corks unnoticed. The bottle would eventually be triumphantly plonked on the table with a sigh of relief. The wine waiter prowled the ballroom like a German POW Camp Guard looking for bottles that had escaped his charge. There would then follow much heated debate as the students attempted to convince him that the litre bottles of Hirondelle and Blue Nun had, in fact, been legitimately bought from the Adelphi wine list. Lawyers eh!



Whilst on this nostalgia trail I might as well carry on. When I was a kid I would laugh at the way my dad would (Four Yorkshiremen style)relate how, when he were a lad he could go to the pictures, buy a bottle of pop and some sweets and still have change from a penny. I never though that I would be doing the same thing but I went for fish and chips at the chippy the other day and it was over three quid. Now when I were a lad, I would go to the chip shop for six of chips (six pennyworth of chips) and a fish (10d). That works out at just under 7p! And when I started at Instanta nearly 20 years ago our cheapest auto fill water boiler was £420. Today you won't be surprised to see that our cheapest auto fill water boiler is now er £399. Something wrong there surely.