Supermariontakestheplunge&cutsthestephanotis

It's a sad day today as, after years of cultivating a magnificent stephanotis in our conservatory we have cut it down to just one shoot and started all over again. Visitors never failed to notice the beautiful plant with its waxy white flowers and glorious scent but it was taking over. We spent an hour unravelling it with the intention of a good pruning but then took the momentous decision to give it the chop. I'm not saying it was big but the lounge which adjoins the conservatory was starting to feel like the black hole of Calcutta and when a Japanese soldier peered through the leaves and asked if the war was over, we realised that its time had come. Tarzan might be disappointed but we're not.




Q What do you do when you find the memory stick that holds your novel, Instanta's accounts for the past twenty years, your entire eBay trading history and your back up of your household finances in the bottom of the washing machine after it's just completed a full cycle.

A Tell Marion you've got a complete back up, get hold of a hair dryer and pray!

And someone up there must like me as I was able to restore the lot. Phew.



An email arrives from son Paul with great news. ITV has sold his creation "The Colour Of Money" to Italy and here is the show's Italian host who does not look like an Italian game show host at all. Does he? And again making sure that they don't follow cliched stereotypes, here is his assistant.







A Couple of words about the new X Factor arena format......... Oh Dear.




I see that the USA has been mourning the death of Senator Kennedy in a big way with scores of bigwigs turning up for his funeral and a plot for him in the famous Arlington cemetery. It's unlike me to speak ill of the dead but, as a father, I could never forgive him for Chappaquiddick. Accidents happen but Kennedy left Mary Joe Kopechne in a car in a creek and did not report it for over ten hours. However forgiving we may be, he should never have held public office after that.I'm sure that her family will not be in mourning.



I've been having a look at the sales for the year which officially ends tomorrow (but as it's a holiday we've already closed the accounts). Our best seller has been the 1500lcd model with sales approaching a couple of thousand.

I'll close with some more of the hip exercises that the consultant recommended to keep the op at bay.

Food For Thought

As one of the world's biggest softies and most squeamish people I've got a lot to think about after visiting the hip specialist Mr Ali at the local hospital this morning. The only way to cure me of the pain that I've been experiencing is to have a hip replacement but as I'm only 55 there's little chance of it lasting the rest of my life. It sounds like major surgery and I'm not keen on the possible problems that he told me about however minor the risk. I think I'll just struggle on for a little while and see how I get on.



My trip to the local hospital provided good examples of both the worst and the best of the NHS. The consultant was excellent and the waiting room fine. I was given an X-Ray and this was shown to me about thirty minutes later and my options were explained. That was the good. However, on the bad side, I arrived at 9.15 for the appointment to be told that they had no record of it(despite my printed confirmation) and "this sometimes happens with NHS patients" accompanied by a look down the nose (the NHS had sub-contracted my case to a BUPA establishment). On the positive side they fitted me in an hour later but back on the negative I went home at lunchtime and found a letter telling me that the appointment had been rescheduled for September. Brilliant. You POST a letter about an appointment at 9.15 the following morning. Stupid or what?



We are only a couple of hours away from our financial year end and our accountant is busily checking the stock take. I am delighted that it looks like we have ended the year with sales turnover around 0.6% up on last year. I know it's not a lot but remember there has been a recession going on out there so I would like to give all those in sales a pat on the back. Thanks Nick and thanks Peter.

Due to the hospital I'm short of time for blogging today but I'll leave you with some interesting stats on the social media revolution.

Year End Beckons

Here are Phil (left) and Tony from our stores who, against all odds, have managed to prepare for the annual stock take in record time. Circumstances this week have resulted in the stores being a couple of men down but Phil and Tony have pulled out all the stops and done a great job and must be congratulated. Thanks also go to Gavin for giving them a hand. The accountant arrives tomorrow and, as long as the quantities agree with the books, we'll be ready for the audit very soon.



I promise to stop banging on about my novel after today.When I first uploaded the blog yesterday I erroneously stated that my book was at number 103 (a typo honest). I later corrected it to 1034 (a bit of a difference!). Today it's inside the 1000 mark. I had a brilliant bit of advice from one of the best writers on the site (no it wasn't "Give up")and, as a result, I may well take it down from Authonomy and do a rewrite. Although criticism is sometimes hard to take, there's a lot of truth in the old saying that "you have to be cruel to be kind".



You really have to hand it to the Guardian. They have some incredible writers. I read a review of the X Factor written by Anna Pickard who is not their regular TV reviewer. She summed the show up with this brilliant line on the contestants "When they were good they were very very good. And when they were bad they were televised". Perfect.



Orange Wednesday last night was packed for "Inglourious Basterds". We could not even get into the car park. As for the film. Not as bad as the critics said but not great. A typical mixture of Tarantino violence and black humour with a spaghetti western like score. The cinematography was superb.




Did you read about the punishment planned for people who illegally download files? We all know some don't we? (They will remain nameless here)It seems that they are going to have it cut off. The Broadband that is.

A Great Christmas Stocking Filler

Our "The Colour of Money" board game arrived yesterday and ,although you might think us biased (as the TV programme was son Paul's concept),it's really impressive. I haven't seen it in the shops yet but it's available on Amazon. Give it a try. It will make a change from Monopoly.



Natalie brought little Olivia in to see us this morning. She's growing isn't she?



And Nat had some more good news with her engagement to boyfriend Dave. Here's her ring. She tells us that she is going to get married in 2011 in Mauritius and, while she's on honeymoon, Olivia is having a break in the Seychelles. Nat is going to New York in November and South Africa and Corfu next year and is one reason why British Airways are still in business.



Orange Wednesday tonight and we're off to see Inglourious Basterds. The reviews have been awful so we are going to reinforce ourselves by a visit to the Warehouse for a meal beforehand so the evening won't be a total flop. I loved Kill Bill so maybe we'll enjoy this.



I've had over twenty comments on my novel on authonomy so far. It's been on the site for a few days and has risen over 3000 places in the charts to reach number 1034.It's quite nerve wracking every time a comment arrives but so far they have all been helpful and the criticism has been constructive. The consensus seems to be that the book will have to increase in size but I have a few ideas to help me achieve this. If you want to support me you can do by joining authonomy and clicking on my book here
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Sorry to see the trouble at West Ham last night. I thought this sort of thing was history.

It's Gone

I've lost something to blog about now as the famous Southport Gas Tower has finally bitten the dust. After months of watching the intricate operation involved in the demolition's progress it's eerily silent around here now.



Another place that's silent at the moment is the factory due to our week's closure. It's a bit spooky without the noise of the punch press running and the happy banter of the lads. I said that they were all going on a summer holiday but, looking at the weather, I should have said that they were all going for a soaking.




I said yesterday that we were hunting for a photographer for Paul and Josephine's wedding. We narrowed the search down to a few and emailed them expecting them all to be busy at such relatively short notice but, to date, all have said that they are available.



Liverpool 1 Aston Villa 3

Was there ever a better argument to show the value of hedging your bets? I watched this debacle in the safe knowledge that there would at least be £430 in my Betfair account when I got home.

I'll finish with a song that captures the mood of today here.

I Need You

I took the plunge yesterday and made a portion of my novel public on the authonomy website. I've already had a number of very constructive criticisms from members and am delighted with their feedback. Now readers of this blog can help me. Here is a quote from the Authonomy website "Attracting external readership can really boost your visibility on the site. So if you already have champions from outside the authonomy community – whether that’s family, friends, colleagues or visitors to your blog, facebook profile or other website, you might also encourage them to join the site and get involved. If they can prove their credentials to the community by building their talent spotter rank, then they'll be in a position to be noticed and in turn help you raise the profile of your book." So there you go. If you get the opportunity, please take a look at my book by clicking here. And, if you like it, please join authonomy and put it on your authonomy book shelf.



I've made my decision on my accumulator bet and can go to Anfield tonight in the knowledge that I will be £430 better off when I get home. I would have loved to let the bet ride and win £900 but would not have enjoyed being at Anfield tonight knowing that a draw or defeat would lose me £160.



Here is Max together with Dan Shorrocks from CKS Blackpool (left) and Ian Morgan from John Morgan Catering Equipment (right).Max has been training Dan and Ian on servicing our boilers and I have been covering for him in his absence. I must say that it has been a quiet morning on the service desk. I had better check that we have switched the service phone on.




Son Paul and his fiancee Josephine have almost made a decision on the wedding and it looks like being on 13th February next. We have offered to help find a photographer for them. Do you know how many there are in London?!! The variety in the standard of the photos is amazing. Some websites have wedding photos that look like I took them on the Instanta blog camera whilst others look like they would not be out of place on the front page of Vogue. Until now I always thought that the word "photographer" implied a degree of artistic skill. The secret is going to be finding the one that looks like the cover of Vogue but costs the same as the one that looks like those on my blog. If you come into this category do please get in touch.

As the YouTube charts are now full of Saturday night's X Factor (622k hits for Danyl now, 474k for Stacy and 262k for our favourite Joe)I'll close today with something completely different. What an incredible throw.

He's Back

After a gap of what seems like five minutes, our Saturday night TV is once again dominated by Simon Cowell in his new show which,in the arena format, should be called "Britain's Got The X Factor".You've got to hand it to Simon; it really is a slick piece of entertainment but the freak show elements are starting to wear a bit thin. On the basis that (a la Susan Boyle), they have showcased the best acts in show one I think we may have already seen one of the final two. But I'm not expecting it to be Danyl Johnson (the best audition Simon has ever seen).No. Marion and I think that Joseph McElderry with his boyish good looks and pitch perfect voice has much more to offer than the dreadful Eoghan Quinn (Chucky)who made it to the last three last year. And Danyl had the benefit of a track complete with backing singers (another first). Looking at Youtube hits to date Danyl is out in front but at only 41,000 views so far he's not another Susan Boyle.



With son Paul(The Colour of Money, Are You An Egghead), heavily involved in the development of game shows we watched Phillip Schofield's new programme "The Cube" with great interest. Favourite critic Charlie Brooker gave it the thumbs up and I thought it was OK but would have preferred it in a teatime slot rather than in the middle of Saturday night when we like to watch a good film.



If you are on our Christmas present list, look away now. You can now buy the Colour of Money board game. Unfortunately Paul won't get any royalties but it will make the perfect stocking filler and we've just ordered ours from Amazon.(we got the last one but more are coming soon) You can buy it by following the link here.




I've spent a lot more time on my novel before uploading it on authonomy. I've done a new cover. Let me know which you prefer.


Off to Anfield again on Monday night. After months of failure on Betfair I won £90 on an accumulator on Thursday. I put all the winnings on another accumulator of seven teams. Six have won so far. If Liverpool win I get £900. If they lose or draw I lose £150 (£90 plus a hedge I took on another game). I think that the reds will win. But my head says lay Liverpool and guarantee a win of £440. Nice problem to think about though. I'll leave you with my betting tip for X Factor

Targets Met - Holidays Beckon

For the first time since I joined Instanta 21 years ago we are having a summer factory shutdown for a week. As everyone has almost six weeks holiday now we were finding it hard to make sure that everybody got a summer week without leaving the factory undermanned so next week we will close. We hoped to have absolutely everything in stock to cover us for the week's closure and have managed - almost. Unfortunately we could not predict every order that would be placed this week and have run out of just one model the WB-2 3kW. Factory leader Tony (above right) and colleague Steve Eyres have told me they'll see what they can do before we close to make sure they're ready at the start of September. Well done to everyone in the factory for hitting production targets in every month bar one this financial year. Tony tells me that the only month we missed the target was the one that he and Jason had a fortnight's holiday.



I have not lost my marbles as the Instanta blog camera turned up safe and well this morning. It was where I thought it might be and we'll leave it at that.



Exciting news this morning as I read that the BBC is making a documentary on the Masquerade phenomenon of the 1980's. If you don't remember, author and artist Kit Williams created a marvellous treasure hunt picture book, which, if you solved its riddles, would lead you to this fabulous buried jewel. Loving riddles and treasure hunts I became a "Masquerade" obsessive and thought that I had cracked the code.The story revolved around the sun and the moon and when I turned up at the spot and found a pub called The Sun and another called The Moon nearby I was convinced. The whole family joined in and supported my crackpot solution. As a result my mother ended up lost on a Welsh mountainside wrapped in a black bin liner. (it's a long story, don't ask).



Here's the mock up cover for my novel. I am going to be uploading it on the Authonomy website in the next few days and leaving it there for all the world to see. I am a bit nervous about how it will be received but the pleasure came in writing it and whilst I would love it to be published there are hundreds of excellent unpublished works on the site and I would be foolish to imagine that I will be successful. I live in hope.

Here's the pitch.

"It is 1969 and young single Liverpool mother Maggie Johnson heads for the Greek island of Symos to escape life in her overbearingly religious family.

Forty year old Nico, whose youth was blighted by illness, war and a sponge diving tragedy, finds solace in the organisation of his spectacular firework displays for his fellow islanders. He owns a cottage in a beautiful remote location and becomes Maggie’s landlord and tutor in her quest to perfect her Greek.

Back in Liverpool, Maggie’s father begins to question the impact of his faith on those around him whilst, on the island, her imaginative son thrives and becomes firm friends with a local boy.

Relationships develop until Nico is confronted by a moment of crisis that brings a devastating result.

The book concludes with an amazing family birthday celebration and one very simple decision for Maggie to make.

The story, set against a background of Greek sponge diving, fireworks, sixties pop music and the Apollo missions, explores the impact of religion on childhood, how secrets can destroy lives and how, with thought and understanding, prejudice can be overcome."

Time to go now so I'll finish with a song for everyone in the factory.

Red Wednesday vs Orange Wednesday

I had to make a big decision last night and chose to go to Anfield to watch Liverpool's 4-0 walkover against Stoke City (my first correct prediction of the season on the Guardian Pick The Score)instead of the usual Orange Wednesday trip to the cinema. And it was a good decision as it was my first chance to see Glen Johnson who put in a stunning performance scoring one goal and assisting in two more.If he keeps playing to that standard he will be a huge asset to the team. It was my first match since the hip problem arose and when the crowd stood up (as they do for any exciting bits) I found myself lagging behind. Let's have a good old boring 0-0 next time lads.



But the local Vue didn't lose our regular £5.50 as Marion and her friend Jane went instead and saw The Time Traveller's Wife. Her verdict? Not as good as the book but still worth seeing. It appears that there was not a dry eye in the house which at times was echoing to the sound of sobbing.



Let's hope that I am not sobbing next week when our financial year ends. I've just done the figures for July and thanks to Marion's excellent book keeping they balanced to the penny again. Our 11 month figures showed a drop in turnover of 0.4% on the same 11 month period last year so if we can beat last August we should manage to end the full twelve months at least level with the year to August 2008 or maybe slightly ahead which is not bad for a British manufacturer during a recession.As we spent a fortune on R&D in 2008 our profit for 2009 should be a lot better. The new products have helped us to keep our sales level so it was an investment worth making.

I'll close today with not one but two short clips. As we are back into the football season both are soccer related. Firstly it's brilliant to see my all time hero -God himself - Robbie Fowler has still got a kick on him.



And you know those stupid bits at the start of Sky sports coverage of the matches where they show the players posing arms folded and trying to look hard. Here's an out take from Jimmy Bullard's. Nice to see a professional footballer who doesn't take himself too seriously.

Hip Hip - Boo

After four months of struggling with a "groin strain" that was showing no sign of improvement and after no less than three visits to the local surgery where I saw three different doctors each of whom prescribed pain killers it took a visit to the physiotherapist to suggest an x-ray and possible hip problem.I got the result yesterday and it shows severe osteo arthritis in the right hip. Well that's definitely my football career over then.It seems that, although the x-ray shows a severe condition I should be able to get about OK for a while before a replacement is needed but I am worried about the limp which is just not going away.

The famous Southport gas tower is almost gone. After months of demolition there was a break for about a month but the wreckers are now back and this is how the tower looks today. I thought that we would all miss it but in honesty we don't miss it at all.



Everyone at Instanta has been commenting how quiet it has been this week.Nobody could offer an explanation until we realised that Peter Barlow is on holiday.



News reaches us that Lauren has just started her new career. Everyone at Instanta would like to wish her huge success and hope that she enjoys it.



I have somehow managed to lose the Instanta blog camera. No idea what has happened to it. Glasses last week, camera this week, marbles next week?

I'll leave you with the exercises that the physio has suggested until I get the date for the hip operation.